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yowen2000 t1_jaevtf8 wrote

Just to play devils advocate:

Is it possible she is actually busy and you are reading too much into her "active" status? Whenever I am busy, I might still have the FB tab open in my browser and I might still look "active" even if I'm not.

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Pane502 t1_jaew8ae wrote

It is possible. That why I was thinking of asking to see her messages.. If she is too busy to text me I'm assuming she is too busy to text others.. I'm open to being wrong. It's just lately it seems like is more than “too busy”. It feel like more indifference.

Also I know for a fact she prefers to use FB on her phone and Messenger is her default texting app.

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yowen2000 t1_jaewnay wrote

Talk yourself off the ledge that is "I demand to invade your privacy" (look at her messages), your relationship will go nowhere good after that.

Maybe just see how the next few days go, if this new trend continues, ask her again why the change and see if you can push for a better explanation.

Also, her texting behavior aside, have you noticed any other problems in your relationship?

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Pane502 t1_jaex7ow wrote

This may be the way to go and I may be impatient and just want an answer now. The major issue I keep running into is feeling like she is indeed indifferent toward me...

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yowen2000 t1_jaexpdo wrote

It's been 2 days, and 36-year-old women do get busy with stuff.

Or something is really going on, but I imagine you'll find that out soon enough if it is.

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slimjim2019 t1_jaf4cmt wrote

dont do it dude. Have a talk about the lack of convo between you two.. Do not ask to see her texts. She will flip and there will be an argument. At least have some dignity and go thru her texts when she asleep lol

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UsuallyWrite2 t1_jaew06w wrote

So your idea after noticing a change of 2 days is to demand to invade her privacy?

Couldn’t you instead just tell her you’ve noticed a different and ask her what’s up?

I think the whole thing is ridiculous and that you’re being weird about it—especially at your age. But you get to feel how you feel.

I would absolutely end things if my partner was expecting me to text all day and in a certain amount of time.

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Pane502 t1_jaewlb2 wrote

Again I'm not expecting texting all day! I want too know what's up with the behavior changed... I asked her alreadyand she just said busy. But this feels like more than just “busy”.

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UsuallyWrite2 t1_jaewua6 wrote

So…asked and answered. If that’s not a sufficient reason for you then date someone else.

Busy doesn’t mean she can’t do whatever she wants in her free time. Maybe she has a friend in crisis that she’s chatting with. Maybe she just doesn’t have much to say during the day to you.

If you ask to look at her phone though, that’s nuts.

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Pane502 t1_jaexbvq wrote

But that would confirm for me what's going on.. Either I'm buts or something is up. And I'm dating to marry so I rather find out sooner than later if I need to move on.

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UsuallyWrite2 t1_jaexl0e wrote

Getting on her phone? Just end it since you don’t trust her. Dating someone who is always looking for a problem and is insecure is exhausting.

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Pane502 t1_jaf1vmj wrote

All your advice seems to be break up.

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UsuallyWrite2 t1_jaf1yjv wrote

Yes. She should break up with you if you ask to see her phone and harass her.

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Pane502 t1_jaf3etd wrote

You give terrible advice and should break up with your therapist.

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slimjim2019 t1_jaf4hc8 wrote

do you feel in your gut that she is messaging another guy?

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catsdontliftweights t1_jaey0z2 wrote

You should bringing your emotions down a few notches, you are overthinking this and want to react to severely. Have you thought that maybe you’re coming off too intense and it’s why she’s pushing you away? Or she’s just busy or wants some time alone, it’s fine to not text with your partner all the time. Going through her phone comes off really controlling, I kind of feel bad for her tbh.

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