Hmm. I think that you have to get him to engage in a difficult conversation here and I'm afraid I don't know how you can start it. But you have to make him listen and understand that he's being very unfair in denying you personal satisfaction from your relationship. At least with the foreplay stuff you have a starting point as he already does that and should be willing to extend it for your benefit. Then take one very small step at a time into your new sexual world.