Gf (25F) blocks me (29F) everytime she gets mad at me

Submitted by Leather-Worry-7517 t3_11e43fr in relationship_advice

Basically the title. [TL;DR: GF(25F) blocks or threatens to block me (29F) when we fight]. Our relationship has been on/off for about 2 years. My gf (25F) blocks me or threatens to block me (29F) everytime we argue or have a fight or she feels hurt. I try apologizing if she feels hurt by something I've done. I know when to take responsibility for my own actions. I try to be productive and move forward, but she tell me "fuck you", "fuck off", "stop being a bitch", "I will block you", etc. It hurts every single time, it never hurts less.. it always just hurts. I've told her I don't appreciate her saying those things to me and it's immature calling me names and cussing at me. I tell her I understand if she's mad and hurt and wants space, she can verbalize it without being rude. She always put all the blame on me for things when I'm pretty sure it takes two. She never takes responsibility for anything and never apologizes to me. She's not in therapy, but I do go for myself. Because of our little disagreements, she wants to cancel us moving in together and almost cancel us being together. I fight for her and our relationship every day, but I'm starting to wonder why. I feel as if I'm being treated like shit by her. I feel like I did and said everything I could regarding her blocking me. I can only ask she not block me, but ultimately it's her choice to do it every time we fight. She will just delete me off everything and block me. Then re-add me and unblock me when she's not mad. I guess I'm to the point of seeking advice on reddit. Thanks in advance.

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YoProfWhite t1_jac90wa wrote

Sit her down and say "this is not how I want us to have confrontations, if you keep doing this, then I won't be around anymore."

Frankly, it sounds like you're seen as someone who will always come back, no matter how childish they behave. Give them a wake up call and tell them to cut this shit out. She isn't 19 anymore and this isn't a mature way of dealing with things.

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Leather-Worry-7517 OP t1_jad9rj8 wrote

You are right, because I'm always here when she's done being upset. I need to regain power in this relationship. My thing is, if I said I won't be around anymore, she will just say that's fine and she will be ok. She won't be hurt by my leaving. Because I try so hard to make it work, she keeps sticking around. I guarantee as soon as I put less effort in or pretend I don't care, she will leave and be ok being by herself. She is a narcissist.

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YoProfWhite t1_jada582 wrote

Sounds terribly exhausting. You must really love her to be willing to put in this much effort. Of course, if she really loved you back then she wouldn't be okay with you deciding to leave.

It sounds like one of you already knows this relationship is dead and the other is left dancing with a corpse full of bile.

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southcoastal t1_jace4qd wrote

Why are you dating this immature twat?

You deserve better than her. Stop thinking she’s all you can get. She’s a shit human.

Dump her. You e put up with this crap for 2 years. That’s long enough.

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Leather-Worry-7517 OP t1_jada00w wrote

Thanks, you sound just like my parents, friends, and my roommate. You're right, it's been long enough. She just treats me like lower-than-the-dirt crap.

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anitram96 t1_jack85f wrote

I'm not even gonna read your post. This sounds beyond immature, that's not how grown ups resolve issues. She either learns to communicate, properly, and resolve any issues you have or you break up.

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Leather-Worry-7517 OP t1_jadacof wrote

I've tried saying this to her as well. I tell her how immature it is and she does nothing to work on it. I'm about communication, but she tells me it's pointless to talk to me. She feels as if she has to dumb things down for me! I promise you, I am not a dummy. When she's upset, she just ignores me when I try asking a question or apologizing, she just shuts down and shuts me out and frankly she just leaves without saying anything. It hurts every time. She just leaves instead of trying to talk or resolve anything. I feel abandoned every time she does it, yet she still does it.

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anitram96 t1_jadau0w wrote

Then I think you know what you need to do. 🙂

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snailsniffers t1_jacn93k wrote

If you have children in the future and she gets annoyed at them what is she going to do? Lock them in a room so she doesn't have to face them?

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Leather-Worry-7517 OP t1_jad935e wrote

Well to be fair we are both against having children. I do have a dog though.

I second this question you have with: how will she react if we ever do decide to live together? Will she just leave the apartment? Will she just disappear? I am very afraid of how she will react if we ever decide to get to that point. At this rate I don't see us ever living together. She's completely against it as of now and her actions turn me off from it myself.

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