UsuallyWrite2 t1_jae78kb wrote
The purpose of dating is to see if you’re a good fit, not to pick up a project and try to change someone.
Your partner has no business even being in a relationship at this time. They need to be working with a therapist and their doctor and focusing on themselves.
I would recommend that you end things and be one less thing for him to have to worry about while he tackles his mental health—especially given how it’s impacting you.
house_ruless OP t1_jae8xrh wrote
I'm not viewing this as a project to try to change him, but I do want to help him grow. He does not have a lot of support in his life and I'm trying to offer him that support. He also didn't/doesn't have much guidance and I am hoping to help with that. He has dreams but hasn't been taught how to be an adult and how to chase those dreams.
He doesn't have a therapist - he had a bad experience with one when he was young. That's something we've discussed a couple of times. I think he will come around to the idea, but it's not a current situation.
This is the first time this has really started impacting me. There have been some bigger life changes recently and I think that may be why. We have a very open communication, so I feel comfortable bringing this up, I just want to make sure I don't come across as judgemental or shaming.
UsuallyWrite2 t1_jae9d9m wrote
He doesn’t have a therapist, he’s doing nothing to help himself, and you want to take it upon yourself to “help” him. That’s a project. And as you’re not a medical professional nor a therapist, I think it’s kind of an inflated sense of self to think you can fix this.
He’s an adult. I really don’t understand why you’d stick around for this.
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