I (19M) have been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend (21F) for 2 years. I've always been a goal oriented person from a young age and always knew I wanted to do business. I don't go to college but I do own a couple businesses that generate me an above average income for my age. I live with my mother and plan on moving out within the next 4 months. I just need to get some things organized first. My girlfriend plans on moving in with me once she graduates college in 1 year. Although I'm very excited, I'm starting to worry that maybe it isn't a good idea.

2 years ago my girlfriend got a job, she makes around 1200 a month and lives with her mom. I was very excited and happy for her and encouraged her to save a certain percentage of her money. Even 30% would be fine. Just so she has a good amount of money in a few years when she moves and isn't completely dependent on me. I don't plan on having her pay any bills when she moves cuz it's simply not necessary. But I still want her to have her own savings and be able to buy her own car when she moves so she isn't dependent on mine. This isn't just a smart decision for a LDR relationship, it's a smart decision for any independent adult.

When I first met my girlfriend and she had no job, she was big on saving. But since she got her job, she's had a bad spending problem that hasn't gone away. She constantly buys things she doesn't need. 2 years pass and she has less than 2,000 saved and her move out date is a year away. I don't understand how you can have a job for two years and then barley have anything saved.

On top of that, she constantly reminds me that she doesn't care about saving. She says things like "I can always make the money back" "F*ck saving" "I wanna live, I don't wanna save"

And the worst one "I can just spend my money on experiences because my mom pays the bills"

Also she complains whenever her mom asks for help with bills. The way she talks about it is like a spoiled entitled child. Her excuse is that her mom is only asking for money because she has a job, not because she actually needs help. Which is true but it's still strange for a 21 year old woman to be so reluctant on paying bills to a person that provides the lifestyle you have.

You can have a happy balance between enjoying life experiences and saving your money. That's what 90% of adults do everyday.

I plan on marrying this girl when she moves but now I question it. Her mindset is childish, she's financially irresponsible, and she's immature. The only reason she has the luxury to spend every check is because she knows her mom is paying the bills. That is literally what children and highschoolers do because they have no responsibilities. In the real world, nobody has the luxury to spend everything. There's bills, expenses, emergency saving, etc.

Her mindset shows me that she isn't ready to be an independents adult. And that means that she isn't ready to move out. And that means she isn't ready to move in with me and be my partner/wife. And if she's still not ready in 1 year when she graduates, then honestly I don't think I wanna stay together. Long distance is hard and I don't want to be waiting for someone to grow up so we can be together. She left her ex because he had no goals and had nothing going for him. Now I feel like she is to me what her ex was to her. I don't want to be waiting on someone who holds me back when I can be with someone more mature. But I also love her deeply.

I've tried to help her save, I've set goals for her, held money for her, and did consistent check ins.

I can't control her or force her to change. All I can do is hope that she does better. Because I know that if another year goes by and she still can't save anything, then I will have to break up with her.

Side note : her mom is terrible at being financially responsible too. And they are both seemingly proud of it