Thank you for your thoughts. I definitely don’t want to be in something like a poly relationship, but am open to exploring on an occasional basis but i did not see it as becoming a regular “friday night event” kind of thing. I do agree, the suicidal thoughts probably came from a culmination of a lot of pressure of different things (possibly a lifestyle i do not want).

Thank you for insight. Me and my bf are going for couple’s therapy and we’ll see how it goes from there. I personally do not think it was so that he could cheat. I trust him when he said it was not his intent. And if he wanted an open lifestyle, he could well able to break up with me and live a more open lifestyle as a single guy.