My husband and I have been together for 6 years and married for 3. We have two younger children together. Before we got married, I knew he had a strong bond with his family and I enjoyed that, in fact his mom used to be my coworker and is the one who introduced us to one another. Like any family they had their issues but seemed super tight.

After we got married we moved a few hours away from his family and I feel like I was able to see deeper into his familial interactions, way more than I had insight to while we were just dating/engaged.

I learned my husband was constantly sending them money for rent/ car bills etc like almost monthly yet on social media I'd see videos of them getting lip filler, buying designer bags, nails hair etc. So it was truly that they were being irresponsible because they knew my husband would bail them out. I learned this once our accounts became joint, not sure he would have told me otherwise. I noticed they'd only call when they needed money but never for any other reason. Well my husband allowed his alcoholic brother to live with us after he had been dishonorably discharged from the army due to too many dui's and violently attacking a female soldier. I was LIVID but my husband said he'd make sure the brother didn't get out of hand at our place. I argued that he would and ultimately, he did. Brother moves out and just a few months later his sister moves in with her two daughters because she couldn't afford to live on her own as a single mother. I had reluctantly agreed with the agreement that she'd sit our children while we worked. It got so bad to where I quit though because she wouldn't be around to help on days we worked and when she was, I'd come home to find my kids with diaper rashes and huge soiled diapers. My husband says I'm too wishy washy and that I'm being too hard on her he even yelled at me very loudly in front of his sister and our kids because he got mad that I am unrealistic with wanting her to watch our kids all the time even though it was literally only during work hours. I just feel like he doesn't care how I feel because he says he'll never understand me because his family is so close and because I've never experienced that

A lot has happened since she's been here that's strained our relationship including his sister stealing things from my room and her daughter being a bully to my daughter. I told my husband I want her out by the end of our lease and he got so angry. He said I'm lazy I don't do anything all day besides sit down and complain (I am extremely involved with our kids and I'm a full time student as well I do all cooking and cleaning I feel like I actually do a lot during my week, he gets mad when I ask him to help with our kids when he used to be happy to help). He also said I'm just a 'hater' because his family loves each other and isn't toxic like my family who doesn't love me. He said he would go into debt if his family really. needed it and that he will always help them and that I am going to have to be the one to throw out his sister and her two kids when the time comes. He finally said he'd do the same thing if it were for my family, but my family would never put us in this situation. Am I just complaining too much? I feel miserable and I can't even talk to my husband because I'm scared of the mean things he tells me when he gets angry I just feel sad, lonely and unheard but I want to know from outside eyes if I am truly just being unreasonable because I don't know what else to do.