19 F and 21 M

Submitted by Dee7000 t3_11d88it in relationship_advice

Hi I (19 F) have been with my boyfriend (21 M) for 11 months. However, I am not in love with him. We want different things out of life and I just can’t see him being the one I spend forever with. We never go on dates because he can’t afford to, and when I offer to pay he still doesn’t want to go. There’s a lack of chemistry sexually and physically as well. He’s had a rough life and has no family or friends, so I feel bad for him. He has a lot of mental issues that he won’t get help for and I’m over it. Every-time I try to dump him he starts crying and threatens to kill himself. Being with him is making me feel stuck and miserable. Idk how to get out of this. I just can’t keep being with him.

2

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

NotTHATPollyGlot t1_ja769ux wrote

He sounds needy and manipulative and I think you already know what you need to do - end the relationship, letting him know that this isn't working out.

​

Be firm - not cruel or crass, but firm and kind, and then block him on everything because he'll just whine and moan and threaten to kill himself (and whether or not he does is not your fault, that's the manipulation).

​

I'm sorry you're dealing with that, but the best option is to really disengage yourself from that before he convinces you to stay and you have 3 children in a loveless marriage. Honestly, run, girl! RUN.

2

Suspicious_Jeweler81 t1_ja7710p wrote

Sounds manipulative.

End of the day, you have to do what's right for you. You can attempt to remain friends, but a clean break is needed for you. You can't keep living your life in the shadow of this. You can not allow him to play on your sympathies while you continue to not live your own life.

2

AutoModerator t1_ja75v6g wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1