I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I don’t know how to fix this (26F)(26M)

Submitted by ThrowRAJenphr t3_11ekssy in relationship_advice

My ex and I stayed together for 11 years and I broke up with him 4 months ago. Nothing wrong with him, he’s absolutely amazing, but we started dating when we were too young, he was already talking about marriage, and we had never experienced being with anyone else other than each other. I love him a lot, but I needed to make sure I wouldn’t feel like missing out if we get married. We still see each other often, we have the same friends group, but things are awkward between us now since the break up.

I recently started casually seeing someone else, and all my friends told me my ex was really hurt when he heard about it, they say he spent the whole week crying. Turns out the guy I was seeing was a huge *sshole for many reasons, and I don’t need to date anyone else to know I made possibly the biggest mistake of my life.

I really want to get back with my ex, but he’s avoiding me. As far as I know, he hasn’t even tried to date anyone else yet, but I don’t know if he would get back with me. To make things worse, the guy I was seeing made sure to tell my ex every detail of what we did, just to hurt him. He sent him some really disgusting and disrespectful text messages saying that he f* me (his words), and it only gets worse. I know about the text messages because a mutual close friends of ours told me and showed me the screenshots.

I don’t know how to fix the mess I made, I really don’t know what to say or where to start.

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LearnsFromExperience t1_jaf3g0m wrote

See all the fun you were "missing out" on? FOMO strikes again. Chalk this up as a learning experience and stop letting your genitals make decisions for you. Or don't, but learn to live with the consequences. Actions have real repercussions.

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Mountain-Instance921 t1_jaeo2x0 wrote

You don't deserve to have him back. Take your life lesson and move on. This whole "oh i need to experience other penises"thing is pathetic and nonsense if you already met the person that makes you happy.

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[deleted] t1_jaeosji wrote

Take more time before you make any decisions. Getting back together now as a rebound from the first bad experience is fear. Yeah, people get hurt sometimes, but that's what you want to experience - other people. Some of them are inconsiderate.

I'd worry you'll decide you feel trapped again if you go back now

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