Submitted by KillerKittenInPJs t3_11emcto in relationship_advice
I want to reconnect with someone I worked with ten years ago. We’re friends on Facebook but he doesn’t use it much. Would appreciate ideas on how to approach this as I’m not sure I want to date him, I want to see him again and then decide.
Just looking for ideas on different ways to approach this.
Imfo: Did yall have a we can talk relationship before?
Could you clarify a little what you meant? We were coworkers for a little under a year and he was always smiling at me and blushing and I thought he was interested in me. We’d chat about mundane stuff (work, video games, nerdy music). Neither of us ever mentioned our attraction to the other. I’m assuming based on his behavior that he was at least a little interested in me.
Like did yall ever hang out or talk about more friends things. No everyday chit chat with coworkers but like more things that would constitue a more than coworker relationship.
Are you that bored and lost in the present that you think going back 10 years will fill some void?! It won’t.
No, we never hung out or got really personal with one another.
And why do you want to check now?
What in my post makes you think I’m expecting this person to fill a void?
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Because if were happy and fulfilled with your current life I doubt that you would be so nostalgic and be looking up people from a decade ago. I could be wrong.
Well, I got in a relationship 7 years ago and moved away for that person. That relationship ended a year ago. I don’t like it here and moving back there for work anyway. I’ve been away for a few years and am reconnecting with other people I was friends with. So I have people to hang out with and do stuff.
I mean if you want to hangout and stuff you could try.
Interesting. So the only reason I would want to reach out to someone I used to like is for them to “fix” me or my life.
Do you know if the other person is in a relationship or not?
I don’t. His FB says he’s single but that doesn’t mean he is.
Just send a message saying Hi how are you. Haven’t seen you in a long time. Was wondering if you would like to get a coffee some time to catch up.
Just send him a message, asking how he is and that you wanted to know if you could catch up with him? Go for it.
I didn’t say you needed “fixing”. I just know from experience that you can’t move backward in time and the answers to happiness lie in the present (and sometimes the future) but not the past. You’re not the same person you were 10 years ago and neither is he. But if your curious and need to “scratch that itch” then write to him on FB. Or find him on Instagram and write to him. Ask him what’s new in his life and take it from there. If it turns out to be more than just a diversion from the present, let us know. Do what you have to do. I wish you luck.
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