1 (26f) think Im inlove to someone who's (38m) 12 years older than me, he used to text me everyday then stopped talking to me

Submitted by ainana7777 t3_11e1xio in relationship_advice

Hi, I'm in need of advice. There's this guy I met six years ago. Prior to the pandemic, we started going out with friends. One of my friends (33f) actually had a crush on him, even though they are closer in age, they didn't end up together. We have one gay friend who would always get jealous or tease us to make our other friend feel better.

This guy and I are actually very into each other. feel like when a guy likes you, you don't have to ask anyone because they will just show you, and you'll see and feel it! We text each other every day, and sometimes he calls. We make fun of friends or other people together and then stare and laugh at each other sometimes, and only the two of us understand.

Then, elders from our church told him indirectly that our age difference is too big. One day, he stopped talking to me, he just didn't reply, and he became very cold. He used to give me small, meaningful gifts, but then he stopped. We haven't talked for almost five months now, and I feel like I'm going crazy! Should I tell him how I feel? I miss him so much, and I wouldn't want to lose him. I am sure no other new girl is involved. I was worried he took the advice of the elders from our church!

I don't see anything wrong with two adults falling inlove? Why does other people always have to interfere. Any guys here experienced this? Why would you suddenly just stop messaging a girl after an advice? Doesnt make sense to me. He also stopped coming to my house to visit! I just want him to talk to my dad again. All the memories makes me feel so sad

0

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

Charming-Ad-2381 t1_jabzcwx wrote

He hasn't spoken to you in 5 months. You have already lost him. I know ending stuff sucks but you've gotta start moving on.

6

YoProfWhite t1_jabzaxy wrote

Sounds like you should make an attempt to save it, although with the knowledge that it may never happen. It sounds like he got hardcore shamed by church elders into leaving you behind (they probably gave him a serious guilt trip).

Ironically, I would say that you should do a hail-mary throw and tell him that you have strong romantic feelings for him and want to try dating him. If he says no, then that's that.

Good luck and here's hoping it all works out.

4

RedPandaLovesYou t1_jac40f0 wrote

>We haven't talked for almost five months now,

You aren't in love with this man, stop

2

AutoModerator t1_jabys1w wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

RedPandaLovesYou t1_jac410y wrote

>I just want him to talk to my dad again.

What?

1

ainana7777 OP t1_jac46b8 wrote

He’s close or used to be close with my parents! He stays in our house way back and usually talks to my dad about everything my dad is almost 60 yo btw and I appreciated everything he did to me and my fam, thats all

1

Ambitious-Cover-1130 t1_jacaz84 wrote

A few things yes you are/were in love with him.

When there is a big difference in age - people tend to be judgemental. Seems you are involved in a church that inter fears in people lifes.

Discuss this with your parents. As they like him maybe they can ask him if he loved you or not. If he stopped coming because he did not love you - at least he is an honest man. If he loved you - he is not talking his life seriously.

1

bleep-bloop-meep t1_jaclukf wrote

I don't see why you shouldn't rekindle your romance with him.

You're already 26, pretty mature as an adult so bwing in a relationship with someone 12 yrs older isn't as big of a deal as when you are younger. You are no vulnerable teen anymore.

If he suddenly kept distance, someone might have confronted him about your age gap too and he might have chosen to keep a respectful distance.

I say go for it. Have a heart to heart talk.

1