My (26M) GF (27F) is using Bumble

Submitted by Total_Industry218 t3_11dy1f2 in relationship_advice

I’ll try to keep this short. About a year ago, we agreed that we would each make bumble bff accounts. We were depressed and thinking that meeting new people would help out. We both helped each other draft bios, made sure to be very clear that we were seeking platonic friendships only, and that we included pictures with each other in our profiles.

Fast forward 11 months, and I haven’t been using the account much since last summer. Found that it doesn’t really work. She has been using it, and frequently messages girls from there, although nothing has really materialized.

I found out from a friend that she was on his bumble date page. I asked him to show me. She’s removed the pictures of us and only has pictures of her.

Look I’m not trying to be sarcastic here, but my question is, is there something I’m missing? I’m not too knowledgeable about these apps, for instance, she was on tinder when we met and I had never used it. I just, I want to make sure I’m not going to be an asshole for calling her out or raising a fuss over it…lol. Any advice or suggestions as to what else may be going on would be much appreciated. Don’t want to accuse her of something that isn’t true, yenno? Also, dreading the truth that may exist.

TIA

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mercifulalien t1_jabgvi0 wrote

I have never used dating apps myself, but...

>I found out from a friend that she was on his bumble date page. I asked him to show me. She’s removed the pictures of us and only has pictures of her.

Even I can tell that's no bueno.

You know what this is.

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Total_Industry218 OP t1_jabgzfz wrote

Oh absolutely. I’m more so wondering if there’s the possibility something else happened. Like with the settings. Just so that if I bring it up, I’m not the jealous insecure asshole yenno? Thanks

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FlyingSpaghettiFell t1_jabj0gz wrote

It is totally possible to hit the wrong button drunk or something, BUT changing the pictures… not really… unless it was a profile from BEFORE you were together? Otherwise… she went on there… why? Well that is another story… not great.

If my boyfriend did this, I would just walk in the room and say “Bumble. Explain.” And wait… make it awkward so he starts talking… and listen. 90% I would end it there… but I can see the curiosity thing happening. I would have to trust him a lot but really… it would be in my head that this was not good.

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slimjim2019 t1_jae10oi wrote

she literally cut you out of pics, and what a coincidence, shes on a dating app with those said pics....come on man, you are in a relationship with a woman who apparently wants to date others. I mean if youre okay with that, then great. But doesnt sound like you are. You are 100 percent naïve though, if you think this was a mistake.

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Total_Industry218 OP t1_jae1b9w wrote

Yeah, no come on man necessary haha believe me I know. I’m more asking about the features of the app, like dating vs bff, before confronting. It isn’t going to end well either way 🤷‍♂️ but I do want to know. Thanks for your response

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sadtwizzler t1_jabgr44 wrote

Nope, you’re not missing anything. Call her out. Did she change her bio as well? As in, is it clear she isn’t only looking for platonic friendships now?

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FlyingSpaghettiFell t1_jabikbc wrote

Ok… there are two real possibilities here:

1- she is or is looking to physically cheat. If so she isn’t very clever.

2- she is looking for validation from guys that aren’t you because she is feeling insecure, low or curious… which still really isn’t okay.

What you do is up to you. If you ask and she responds with anger… that is usually a defense mechanism and not a good sign on the fidelity front.

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