My gf (20F) wants to propose and doesn’t know that I (21M) know

Submitted by SapphireChi t3_11dhjad in relationship_advice

Just the other day I had accidentally saw a text between her and her best friend that she was going to propose to me. We’ve talked about marriage for quite a while now, we have kids together, stable and perfect relationship as well.

The issue is I’ve never really liked the idea of actually having a wedding it just seems like too much. Of course I could just be overthinking that but let alone BEING proposed to by my girlfriend? I guess she’s tired of waiting but I want to be the one to propose and I don’t want to do it right now though. I was hoping another year or two.

My question is what do I do? How do I get her to not propose to me without actually telling her I saw her text and I don’t want to come off as rude and that I don’t want to get married cause I do eventually.

0

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

AutoModerator t1_ja8m3yy wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

VanMan32 t1_ja8mcau wrote

> The issue is I’ve never really liked the idea of actually having a wedding it just seems like too much.

You can just have a small wedding unless in her eyes she wants a big one.

1

SapphireChi OP t1_ja8n0xs wrote

Replying to VanMan32 (#2,063,679)

She has said before that she doesn’t care how big or small it is but I know she would love a nice wedding, I’d just rather give her a ring and be good to go. I’m not very social or big on events like I used to be.

1

AnonOpinionss t1_ja8o3le wrote

Y’all are young, but other than that, what is your reason for waiting one or two years?

3

SapphireChi OP t1_ja8p022 wrote

Replying to AnonOpinionss (#2,064,156)

Well there’s a couple reasons, we have a 3 month old and I feel it would be easier to wait as she would be older and I’d be even more financially free. I understand you can be engaged for a while before actually getting married also. Maybe just the idea of actually being engaged scares me.

1

AnonOpinionss t1_ja8q4qx wrote

Replying to SapphireChi (#2,064,394)

Financial reasons make sense, definitely. Weddings can get quite expensive, even small ones.

Personally, I don’t see how being engaged can be scary when you’ve willingly had a child with this person already lol.

Still, I think I’d actually be completely honest in this case. I’d probably confess to knowing her plan and explain why I wasn’t ready and that I’d like to wait a few more years.

Or, you can both discuss having a long engagement, if you’re willing to say yes. Personally, I’m a fan of long engagements, but I know some ppl aren’t.

2