I (F23) kissed him (M25) a year ago and I still dont know how to talk about it

Submitted by GuideAggravating6455 t3_11emesf in relationship_advice

Hi everyone, I (F23) kissed him (M25) a year ago on a trip with Friends. We were both drunk and it lasted a long time.

AT this moment, I wasnt the type of girl to kiss everyone, I Can tell you He's the 7th one I've kissed to tell u how much I didn’t kiss anyone. We were both so embarrassed that we never really talked about it, except to make jokes about it.

I tried so many times to step up to him to talk about it, on social medias, but it was so embarrassing for me that I changed the discussion just a few moments after I raised it. A dispute with a mutual friend meant that I never got to see him in person to talk about it either, since I no longer had the opportunity to party with him.

I would have liked to invite him for a real date, I would have liked to know how he felt about me and if he would have put me a big stop if I had tried to invite him without our Friends. But, as they say, "it’s just a kiss," and he’s a lot more mature than I am sentimentally speaking, I was afraid that he would think that I had made crazy stories about a drunk kiss one night, and that he would take me for a deranged one. What he thinks of me matters to me, and I didn’t want to alter our friendship with my overthink.

Now, I’m in a relationship with someone else (M20), and I don’t know if talking about it would be disrespectful to my current boyfriend, or if it’s a good idea at all.

I'm not in love with M25, that's not a crush, maybe just like a kind softspot I have, and I dont really know what to do to get over it.

PS : He never did nothing to hang out with me. He never seems to show this kind of interest, only friendship.

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lollysugar t1_jaeujl1 wrote

It’s a kiss that happened a year ago and you’re in a relationship with someone else. It’s not a big deal, leave it alone.

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derangermouse t1_jaev95m wrote

A year has passed since the kiss and both of you have likely moved on. Bringing it up now doesn't necessarily mean that you have feelings for him or that you are trying to start something romantic. You can approach the conversation from a place of curiosity and a desire for clarity or closure.

You could try sending him a message or arranging to meet up with him, and explain that you would like to talk about the kiss from a year ago. You can acknowledge that it was a drunken mistake and that you don't have any expectations or intentions beyond having an open and honest conversation. You could also express that you feel embarrassed to bring it up, but that you think it's important to clear the air and ensure that there are no lingering feelings or misunderstandings between you.

Before anything happens though, consider whether or not discussing this with M25 would be respectful to your current boyfriend.

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GuideAggravating6455 OP t1_jaewdlf wrote

Replying to derangermouse (#2,131,543)

Thanks for advicing me. It’s really a vicious circle for me to get stuck because of the time I spent talking about it with him, but time still passes, making it even stranger to talk about it After, and time passes... Thats why it has been a year.

To talk about it, I really considered just screen my post, do u think a good way ?

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