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gordonf23 t1_ja9ag32 wrote

Why does she not take more advantage of having the nanny and the grandparents around to give her some rest time when she needs it?

Some of these challenges--the breast feeding, for example--are temporary, and will disappear or get easier as the children get older. And this is not her first time doing this. You already had one child, so she KNEW what to expect when you both decided to have a second child.

Honestly, you do a shit ton more work than any other dad I know, based on your description of the situation. Particularly given that there is also a nanny there most of the time when you're at work and your older kid is in school most of the week. In fact, honestly, it sounds like you're doing MOST of the overall work, especially since it's on top of a full-time job.

Find a way for her to take a day off. Take a sick day and send her to a spa for the day, for example, if it would make her feel more appreciated.

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ThrowRA_resentfuldad OP t1_ja9b4xi wrote

That is really good advice. I feel like I make a point to find time to myself once a month, and she has not done the same. I get that it's harder with the breastfeeding and baby schedule/routine than it is for me and I appreciate that she owns that part of our parenting roles. I will more proactively help her to schedule some free time to do something on her own to see if it gives her some relief, and hopefully some clarity on her situation being fairly positive.

Also for clarity, the oldest is only in preschool about 12 hours a week, and the nanny is at the house about 25-30 hours a week and the grandparent is at the house about 15 hours a week.

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SherrKhan32 t1_ja9mdz7 wrote

She can pump breast milk and store some so she can take a day off to herself now and again.

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