Red_V_Standing_By t1_ja9yhoj wrote
Hey, I just want to say that my situation is extremely similar to what you wrote and I finally got to the end of my rope and asked for a divorce. (I also have two young kids, I also am very financially set, married for 10 years, etc.)
Women like this always need to be the victim of societal oppression, no matter how much you give. Just because having children is an asymmetrical burden for moms, that doesn’t give her free reign to take you for granted and treat you like a servant - especially since it sounds like you’re a great provider and attentive father.
No matter what you do (vacations, nannies, cars, homes, chores, running baths, childcare, etc.) it will never be enough - and it doesn’t matter to her that she provides you with far less than you provide her. You will begin to deeply resent her lack of understanding or reciprocation. I went without sex for 4 years in a marriage like this before I had enough and realized that it’s my responsibility to be a role model for my children in how they are treated in relationships.
You know why divorces are so expensive? Because they’re worth it.
ThrowRA_resentfuldad OP t1_jaa7d46 wrote
There is a lot to process in this. I appreciate the note and the candor. There is a lot good with our marriage, she is my best friend, we enjoy each other's company, we have affection, but your sentence of "You will begin to deeply resent her lack of understanding or reciprocation" kind of hit the nail on the head of my concern. I am hopeful I can turn the ship but you gave me some important perspective. Thanks.
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