So part of it is to give you insight. Because she's coming at it from you just don't know. Which is fair, you don't, but it's hard to have a productive conversation if it's you saying "it can't be that hard stop sending me stuff saying that" and her saying "it is hard stop telling me it isn't and that I need to be feeling lucky and grateful!" You're both kinda stuck on your side, but by doing this you can walk her side and at least come at it from "hey I know what you're doing, I lived it! Can we now come together and figure out how to handle what we're both feeling together?"

Plus besides this hopefully giving her the feeling of you trying to see her side and get what she's feeling and saying - it also gets her out and gives her a break. Gets her from being stuck in mom mode. Hopefully gives her back a little of herself (especially since you said she's not taking time for herself even with all her help). And also hopefully refreshes her so she can come back to the table with some fresh eyes.

So I was thinking of it as a dual purpose. It gives you insight into what she's actually going through, it gives her a break, hopefully it lets you both reset from your trenches, and then both be able to work together.