ThrowRA_resentfuldad OP t1_jaeexsz wrote on February 28, 2023 at 9:01 PM

Reply to comment by sanguinepsychologist in I (36M) am starting to resent my wife (36F) for her attitude towards our division of labor by ThrowRA_resentfuldad

She sees her friends a lot actually, especially recently as almost all of them are new mothers as well. I will say that so much of her previous "self" was tied up with her work and career. So when she sees friends now its usually with their kids, and when she comes home its with her kids. So I think as I reflect that some of her frustration around division of responsibilities is less about how hard we work but more that she is kids 24/7 and I am not and I get that mental break every day from kids...and meanwhile I am frustrated because I feel like I am working harder and doing more stuff. Clearly we need a better way to have these discussions directly with each other.

sanguinepsychologist t1_jaehk1m wrote on February 28, 2023 at 9:18 PM

I think you’re hitting the nail on the head here. I say this a single mother: the moment my partner took on some childcare and I could start leaving the house for a few hours every now and again, my life changed. That mental break is so important. Find ways for your wife to spend some time away from the kids, just for herself, even once a week for an hour or two. It will help.