Submitted by Sweaty-Ad-3659 t3_11dsixk in relationship_advice

I’d like to start by saying that I love my boyfriend, with whom I’ve been in a relationship for 3,5 years, soooooooo so much, like for real, I still look at him with dreamy eyes, he’s the perfect boyfriend, we connect on so many levels, intellectually, emotionally, sexually and so on. I’m sure I want to be with him for the rest of my life and there’s nothing about him that I would change. I came to study abroad (and so did he) and we discussed opening the relationship because we know we want to be together, but we don’t want to be old and feel we haven’t experienced enough. We have decided not to - although we are not sure yet. The problem is: I’ve been abroad for 2 weeks and I met a guy that is so confident and so sexy and I just want to touch him. I would never cheat on my boyfriend, I respect him and love him too much. So I have 2 options: break up with the one I thought was the love of my life because I feel like I’m a terrible girlfriend for having these feelings, or be honest about what I’m feeling, explaining that it’s purely physical and that it doesn’t mean I love him less and potentially damage my relationship. I could have a 3rd - ignoring my crush, it would be the smartest thing to do, I think, but I really can’t help it. Please, any advice would be helpful.

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TorrenceMightingale t1_jaajkw8 wrote

It’s weird that you’d do this given how perfect the bf is. Are you being realistic with yourself? If you love him be open with him. If you have to let him go to experience whatever then go for it. If you want to be with him for the rest of your life, truly, then you have something that many others wait a lifetime for. Maybe it’s true that you just haven’t experienced enough yet, but what is “enough?”

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Sweaty-Ad-3659 OP t1_jaajs6w wrote

Honestly, I don’t know, I’m just so confused. I want to be honest with him, since we’re always very honest to each other, but I really don’t want to hurt him.

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TorrenceMightingale t1_jaajvrp wrote

That’s what not being honest with him will do. Brutal honesty upfront will almost always result in less pain. It’s uncomfortable for the one being honest, but realistically, this discomfort is what you’re protecting yourself from. Not him from hurt.

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Sweaty-Ad-3659 OP t1_jaak03e wrote

Yes, that’s also very true, I think I will talk to him. Thank you

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TorrenceMightingale t1_jaak8oz wrote

Yes ma’am. Good luck and enjoy your youth while you have it. It is a precious and short-lived commodity.

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