I recommend you take a look at Attachment Theory. I wish I’d known about it at your age. In short, people respond to fear of rejection and abandonment in very similar ways, based on how our parents responded to our vulnerability as early as in our infancy. You’d be surprised how much it influences every little moment in a relationship, even the things that make you snap.

The second thing is, you’re both very young and probably need to develop your emotional intelligence still. This is normal. Emotional intelligence, if you don’t know, means being aware of what you’re feeling and learning how to communicate it. When you have that awareness, it changes a moment where you (or he) might make a passive aggressive comment into a moment of clear and direct conversation about what you’re feeling. Example: Maybe he doesn’t clean up something very well and you feel like it means he doesn’t care enough about you to put in the effort, so instead you send a barb his way to let him know it annoys you, when it would be much more productive to say, “hey, when you do X, I feel like it means Y and that hurts my feelings.” Then he can respond from an informed perspective instead of being made to feel small or guilty first.

Basically, you have to learn how to translate your feelings into direct communication. Outside of jokes, Sarcasm is really just indirect criticism, which is not the most mature way to express something and certainly doesn’t prioritize respect for your partner. It’s clear that you do respect and admire him, so I’d encourage you to learn to speak what you’re feeling. As my therapist told me many years ago, feelings are always okay no matter what, but if you don’t get them out in a healthy way, they will leak out wherever they can.