How do I [31F] tell my husband [38M] he needs to go to the dentist without hurting his feelings?

Submitted by throwRA32452 t3_12799dx in relationship_advice

TL;DR: husband has really bad breath, how do I nicely tell him to go see the dentist?

My husband hates the dentist and so he just doesn’t go consistently. He hasn’t been in a year. I’m not going to nag him and act like his mom, so I never say anything aside from some light teasing when it comes up which is in line with our relationship style.

However recently I’ve noticed some really bad breath, not the normal morning breath. I suspect he has some sort of gingevitis/infection/whatever going on, but he doesn’t know and will probably put off going until a dental emergency unless I mention it.

If I bring it up and tell him to go, I know he will and it won’t be a big deal, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Help me word this nicely so he will go and I don’t embarrass him additionally! Would a text be easier to hear than an in person conversation? Thanks!

1

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

StephMess18 t1_jed77ic wrote

“Babe, your breath stinks in a way that’s very concerning to me. I think it’s something a dentist needs to check out.”

When it comes to health, don’t worry about hurt feelings. It’s more important that you get to the point so he knows how serious it is.

3

therealcosmicnebula t1_jed79b1 wrote

Tell him directly and concisely.

"I need to tell you something. Your breath smells bad. I don't know what it is. But you need to see the dentist."

Don't do all the eggshell overly verbose, roundabout way.

It's more insulting when you do that.

3

throwRA32452 OP t1_jee4s8v wrote

Ah okay, I didn’t know that could feel more insulting

1

QuitaQuites t1_jed96hu wrote

So come from a place of concern, not that his breath is bad, but that it may be a sign of infection and an infection in the mouth can actually be life threatening.

2

AutoModerator t1_jed6voz wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

dwells2301 t1_jedlod0 wrote

Tell him you have noticed a change and you are concerned. Untreated dental problems can lead to serious health issues.

1