Submitted by ThrowRAMaybePlatonic t3_127klg6 in relationship_advice
SecretHoliday1752 t1_jeemksw wrote
Why exactly did you get engaged if you aren’t sure that you’re in love?
6 months is already not a super long time to get to know a boyfriend, much less a life partner. Why not just stay boyfriend and girlfriend while your relationship develops is you’re already not feeling just …..eh, and not exactly sure if things will last ?
Could you explain a bit more what the reason for was for an engagement at this moment ? Besides you having similar values ?
ThrowRAMaybePlatonic OP t1_jeexob2 wrote
Mmmm, well it's more of a cultural thing I think. I'm from North America, he's from East Asia. In the area we live in now, it's pretty standard that people get engaged quickly. I've told him about my customs in my home country, and he's willing to wait it out as long as we need - I did tell him I needed more time until we get married.
My therapist has reassured me that this relationship is GOOD for me, and that it will take time to learn what love is supposed to feel like, as opposed to lust - as other commenters have pointed out. I didn't want to turn down the proposal and make him think that I was rejecting him - but we did have a conversation afterwards.
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