I(M21) ghosted my ex (F21) that cheated and lied to me with her ex(22), but I feel like I'm the one who broke her heart

Submitted by ImAdou21Gta t3_126nu00 in relationship_advice

My girlfriend used me as a rebound and when I figured out she was talking every night with her ex again we kinda broke up but still stayed close, my plan was to give her a chance so that she stops talking with him and takes me seriously, but one month ago she was still the same with him and pulled a little back from me until I found out they were secretly dating. After she stopped putting effort into our relationship, I figured out she then started to talk to me only to use me (calls me whenever I'm in an event to join me and my friends so that she doesn't stay alone) even though I still showed her I love her several times. I ended up totally ghosting her and started ignoring her even IRL because I knew the truth.

Now I found many reels on she's linking on Instagram about "He wasn't good" or "he ignored me when I was there but he's gonna regret it when he will see me with another one" (about me), but also others about "girls that are in love with their bf..." (about her ex who is now her bf).

The thing is that I know that I did what I had to do, I figured out all the truth by myself and figured out everything she was telling me about us (me and her) and about them (she and him) was a lie, but I feel very sad these days because she didn't even remember that I did everything to make her happy (was always there for her, organized a surprise anniversary to her, bought her lot of gifts and flowers...).

I'm the one who broke everything between us? I mean, for me it's obviously no but I'm stuck in my head and I can't stop overthinking.

TLDR; I ghosted my gf who cheated on me with her ex, so now she isn't even thankful for what I did to her and acts like I'm the one who broke her heart.

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Castle_of_Aaaaaaargh t1_je9wcmv wrote

Best advice is if someone cheated on you and you break up with them… stop following/stalking their social media for updates. She knows you’re watching. And either she hopes to get you back, or just hurt you so that it’s your fault and not hers for, well, ACTUALLY CHEATING.

If you think about it, this sounds like high school drama nonsense. I feel like anyone who posts targeted woe-is-me nonsense to social media is actually in the wrong, by default. Who else would stoop to such lame cries for attention?

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ImAdou21Gta OP t1_je9x89j wrote

Thank you for your advice, to be honest with you, I never thought we were gonna end up this way, and before we started dating, I planned almost everything to be a real MAN with and for her, I was ready for everything to keep her with me, make her happy, show her respect and give her as much attention as she needs, but now when I'm thinking about it, I failed and ended up acting like a child because of her, immaturity, I guess. I'm definitly gonna remove my SM, that the only way to stop thinking about her.

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the-mirrors-truth t1_je9wpyu wrote

Well she's obviously going to make you out to be the bad guy. It's easier than to admit she messed up.

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ImAdou21Gta OP t1_je9xn24 wrote

Yeah, that's why I feel sad and I can't really move on, can you please give me any advice that's could help me to completly forget this drama ? thank you tho

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the-mirrors-truth t1_jea0fob wrote

I don't think you should forget it tho, learn and grow from this.

It's going to hurt for sometime It's true.

One, block her from everything.

And keep yourself busy, go out with friends, see family. Pick up a new hobby, learn a new language just don't stay idle.

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ImAdou21Gta OP t1_jea1qc1 wrote

Definitely, I started playing piano and practicing tennis again, it feels really good, but when I get back home, I start thinking about them again, they have haunted my mind, but that's life, I can't do anything else besides accepting the truth, feeling the real pain then move on with time. Thanks again I really appreciate your help <33

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the-mirrors-truth t1_jea2hc9 wrote

For sure keep it up man!

I know it hurts, its hard not to obsess. Hey, even even when at home try a new hobby or class. Plenty of online classes you can take. Helps keep your mind occupied

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ImAdou21Gta OP t1_jeepu0q wrote

I'll, I've just bought some udemy courses to get better at coding, for now I'm enjoying it.

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the-mirrors-truth t1_jeewlde wrote

Hey that's great! coding is a great way to keep yourself occupied! Good luck!

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