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[deleted] OP t1_jefo7e3 wrote

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than_odium t1_jefp7l5 wrote

Can’t maintain erection with them, genuinely kills it straight, have tried multiple times and have even been broken up with because of it. And I can’t take viagra or pills like that because I’m on other medication

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[deleted] OP t1_jefpc9x wrote

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than_odium t1_jefpob8 wrote

Trust me, in my last relationship we tried everything, nothing seemed to work

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[deleted] OP t1_jefpt3j wrote

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[deleted] OP t1_jefq6n8 wrote

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[deleted] OP t1_jefqbnw wrote

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carbinePRO t1_jefqnib wrote

Apologies. I got my terms mixed up. I wasn't trying to correct you. I thought I was talking about the same thing. Thanks for the clarification.

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[deleted] OP t1_jefr13y wrote

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carbinePRO t1_jefsm2o wrote

Odd. Our experience is completely reverse. We've never seen a female condom out in the wild, but our local pharmacy has diaphragms on the shelf.

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carbinePRO t1_jefprhr wrote

Bigger, looser condoms is the answer. You can special order them online.

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jabmwr t1_jefwb1t wrote

Have you tried a custom size? Is it too tight?

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carbinePRO t1_jefpka0 wrote

>Also if the pill is the problem, we don’t have many other options as I can’t use condoms

And that excuse is?

Imma level with you, the pill hormonally affects women. It took my wife a while to get used to the changes. It totally bombed her sex drive. Either you put up with it and wait, or you break up with her. It's that simple. Albeit really shallow. There's more to relationships than just sex.

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than_odium t1_jefpxy2 wrote

I know that, why do you think I’ve stayed with her for nearly 6 months despite our dry spell. I really love her and I want to stay with her. I was hoping for suggestions to put the spark back in

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carbinePRO t1_jefqd13 wrote

Have you brought any of this up to her? At all?

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peakpenguins t1_jefoc1k wrote

>(Ik that’s a common excuse but I genuinely can’t lol)

Why not?

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than_odium t1_jefp5qs wrote

Can’t maintain erection with them, genuinely kills it straight, have tried multiple times and have even been broken up with because of it. And I can’t take viagra or pills like that because I’m on other medication

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peakpenguins t1_jefpcwp wrote

Have you tried thinner condoms? Bigger sizes? Abstaining from masturbation to see if that helps?

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than_odium t1_jefppyd wrote

All of them with no luck

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peakpenguins t1_jefq5nu wrote

Well if you can't use condoms and she doesn't want to try anything else, then doesn't seem like anything is going to change... She should go back to her doctor and tell them about her libido issues though, maybe they can try a different type of BC pill.

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StarrySunflower714 t1_jefrnb2 wrote

She needs to change pills. There’s honestly no point in a romantic relationship if you’re just room mates.

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carbinePRO t1_jefszjv wrote

You can be romantic without sex.

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StarrySunflower714 t1_jeft35a wrote

What on earth would be the point? You’re not allowed to sleep with anyone then what on earth would keep you there

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peakpenguins t1_jefudc2 wrote

Different people have different intimacy needs. There's nothing wrong with needing sexual intimacy in a romantic relationship as many people do, but there are people who don't consider it a necessity.

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carbinePRO t1_jefwbe3 wrote

Aromantic and asexual people exist though. Are they not allowed to have significant others because they often times aren't motivated by sex or conventional intimacy? Your idea of how a relationship is supposed to work is very narrow minded and restrictive.

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StarrySunflower714 t1_jefwi3z wrote

They can date each other or other people with the same general (lack of) interest. Why should I be punished for it? Sex is one of my favorite things.

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carbinePRO t1_jefwt4b wrote

It's not a punishment though. They shouldn't be together if sex is OP's #1 priority, but you're painting out OP's gf to be this person who's maliciously withholding sex. Do you think that OP is owed sex?

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StarrySunflower714 t1_jefwzuk wrote

No but i think you shouldn’t constantly reject your partner and should let them find another outlet or just leave so they can find someone worth dating wish similar desires.

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carbinePRO t1_jefxq0g wrote

So then if they're going to stay together she has to put out? That's a pretty shallow and manipulative ultimatum, don't you think?

I agree that the advice here is to have a larger discussion about wants and needs, but you're coming out here with a massive bias and ignorant stance against aromantic individuals. It's not wrong how they do (or don't) feel about sex. All you needed to say was, "She needs to change pills." The rest was extremely, unnecessarily vilifying of OP's gf.

>Sex is one of my favorite things.

Please leave your bias out of this.

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StarrySunflower714 t1_jefxyp9 wrote

Sec is really important to some people and for those people being rejected and shat all over for wanting it is damaging to their mental health. If I started dating someone and everything was normal then they were like “oh by the way I’m ace and will never have sex with you” I’d block their number right then. There’s no point.

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carbinePRO t1_jefyufn wrote

>Sec is really important to some people and for those people being rejected and shat all over for wanting it is damaging to their mental health.

What? Again with vilifying of OP's gf. She's not maliciously withholding sex. What is your problem? Not being in the mood shouldn't be damaging to your partner's mental health if there's proper communication happening. Like I said earlier, the best course of action here is to communicate feelings and desires with each other as it seems that all OP has ever done is just ask for sex. He doesn't know the why. He needs the why before a solution or compromise can be made.

>If I started dating someone and everything was normal then they were like “oh by the way I’m ace and will never have sex with you” I’d block their number right then.

You've exposed your ignorance, because ace-folk still have do and like having sex. It's just not as frequent or a motivator for them like it is for most. Please leave your bias at the door. I don't think you're able to have a level-headed discussion on this topic as long as you keep making bias claims against ace-folk.

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IncomeFundManager t1_jefr2oz wrote

So you’re basically friends at best?

Go find someone else to date then

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