Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

AutoModerator t1_jefnui8 wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

peakpenguins t1_jefoc1k wrote

>(Ik that’s a common excuse but I genuinely can’t lol)

Why not?

6

than_odium t1_jefp5qs wrote

Replying to peakpenguins (#2,541,163)

Can’t maintain erection with them, genuinely kills it straight, have tried multiple times and have even been broken up with because of it. And I can’t take viagra or pills like that because I’m on other medication

−1

than_odium t1_jefp7l5 wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#2,541,122)

Can’t maintain erection with them, genuinely kills it straight, have tried multiple times and have even been broken up with because of it. And I can’t take viagra or pills like that because I’m on other medication

−1

carbinePRO t1_jefpka0 wrote

>Also if the pill is the problem, we don’t have many other options as I can’t use condoms

And that excuse is?

Imma level with you, the pill hormonally affects women. It took my wife a while to get used to the changes. It totally bombed her sex drive. Either you put up with it and wait, or you break up with her. It's that simple. Albeit really shallow. There's more to relationships than just sex.

7

than_odium t1_jefpxy2 wrote

Replying to carbinePRO (#2,541,551)

I know that, why do you think I’ve stayed with her for nearly 6 months despite our dry spell. I really love her and I want to stay with her. I was hoping for suggestions to put the spark back in

−2

peakpenguins t1_jefq5nu wrote

Replying to than_odium (#2,541,601)

Well if you can't use condoms and she doesn't want to try anything else, then doesn't seem like anything is going to change... She should go back to her doctor and tell them about her libido issues though, maybe they can try a different type of BC pill.

3

IncomeFundManager t1_jefr2oz wrote

So you’re basically friends at best?

Go find someone else to date then

−3

StarrySunflower714 t1_jefrnb2 wrote

She needs to change pills. There’s honestly no point in a romantic relationship if you’re just room mates.

−2

carbinePRO t1_jefwbe3 wrote

Replying to StarrySunflower714 (#2,542,652)

Aromantic and asexual people exist though. Are they not allowed to have significant others because they often times aren't motivated by sex or conventional intimacy? Your idea of how a relationship is supposed to work is very narrow minded and restrictive.

2

carbinePRO t1_jefxq0g wrote

Replying to StarrySunflower714 (#2,543,870)

So then if they're going to stay together she has to put out? That's a pretty shallow and manipulative ultimatum, don't you think?

I agree that the advice here is to have a larger discussion about wants and needs, but you're coming out here with a massive bias and ignorant stance against aromantic individuals. It's not wrong how they do (or don't) feel about sex. All you needed to say was, "She needs to change pills." The rest was extremely, unnecessarily vilifying of OP's gf.

>Sex is one of my favorite things.

Please leave your bias out of this.

1

StarrySunflower714 t1_jefxyp9 wrote

Replying to carbinePRO (#2,544,123)

Sec is really important to some people and for those people being rejected and shat all over for wanting it is damaging to their mental health. If I started dating someone and everything was normal then they were like “oh by the way I’m ace and will never have sex with you” I’d block their number right then. There’s no point.

0

carbinePRO t1_jefyufn wrote

Replying to StarrySunflower714 (#2,544,204)

>Sec is really important to some people and for those people being rejected and shat all over for wanting it is damaging to their mental health.

What? Again with vilifying of OP's gf. She's not maliciously withholding sex. What is your problem? Not being in the mood shouldn't be damaging to your partner's mental health if there's proper communication happening. Like I said earlier, the best course of action here is to communicate feelings and desires with each other as it seems that all OP has ever done is just ask for sex. He doesn't know the why. He needs the why before a solution or compromise can be made.

>If I started dating someone and everything was normal then they were like “oh by the way I’m ace and will never have sex with you” I’d block their number right then.

You've exposed your ignorance, because ace-folk still have do and like having sex. It's just not as frequent or a motivator for them like it is for most. Please leave your bias at the door. I don't think you're able to have a level-headed discussion on this topic as long as you keep making bias claims against ace-folk.

0