My (M25) GF (F24) said she's done

Submitted by RaelowTV t3_127nmp9 in relationship_advice

Hey everyone. Been debating on posting here for awhile for some insight. My GF and I have been together for a little over 3 years now and this has just been getting frustrating. Since we've been together she's either quit her jobs or been fired and then proceeds to not work for a couple weeks. Well this last time in December she got fired, and still has yet to find anything else for work. I've been the sole provider for all the bills and genuinely haven't had a day off in 3 months. When ever I try to bring it up she just starts an argument about how I didn't do X or didn't do Y when she's asked me "A hundred times". To Preface this I also have ADHD, been diagnosed since I was 7, So yes, I'm pretty forgetful. We just got in another argument about how I forgot to fill the cats feeders. Okay yes I get it that's pretty serious and I feel awful. I said that and now she's saying that why is it a fight every time i forget something when she's the one making it a fight when I'm apologizing. This last fight just ended with her saying "She's done" but now shes just laying on the bed on her phone sulking and crying.

I don't know if anyone will have any advice or anything for this but I think I really just needed to vent too. it's been a really hard 4 months.

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UsuallyWrite2 t1_jeex6e9 wrote

Then let her be done and get her out of there so you’re not dealing with her drama and lack of employment. Why the hell couldn’t she fill the cat feeders since she’s home on her ass all day? Seems to me that she is just picking fights out of boredom or needing to feel in control.

She sounds like a real PITA with her sketchy employment history and communication approach.

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RaelowTV OP t1_jeexp3t wrote

It's definitely frustrating when I get home after being out all day, to an argument. The most popular is when I try to sit at my desk and relax for a second and I get her telling me I never spend time with her.

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YourRAResource t1_jeewz3b wrote

One situation has nothing to do with the other. You tell her you're frustrated that she's not working or even trying. She responds by saying there are things you don't do. Does that change the fact that she's not working?

I'm sure there are things you need to work on, and you should take whatever measures necessary to do so. But let's just focus on her for a minute. She's unreliable and immature. You're logically going to have to support her for as long as you're together. You need to decide if you're good with that or not.

If not, call her bluff with her saying she's done. Tell her "good." When she almost certainly reverses course, you should actually be done with her. Good luck.

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RaelowTV OP t1_jeex7y6 wrote

I agree, I've been doing what I can to change myself to not be forgetful but when I bring up something, she turns it into a fight about what I did wrong.

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Baezil t1_jefh3v9 wrote

>I've been doing what I can to change myself to not be forgetful

What does that mean? What have you done?

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RaelowTV OP t1_jefhyzb wrote

Making sticky notes, setting alarms, debating on getting meds again, being more mindful of daily tasks, etc. The forgetfulness that comes with ADHD is rough but manageable and I'm trying to be better

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