Submitted by sultanateofoman t3_1283x8g in relationship_advice

My boyfriend (now ex) 23M and I 24F broke up. We’ve been seeing each other for last 7 months and made things official about 5 months in. Before making things official he expressed not being ready and not wanting to rush things to which I replied that though it was a little frustrating I was happy to wait.

He finally asked me and assured me that he’s asking me because he really wanted to.

I am in the process of moving to the country he lives in (I already was planning to before I even met him) and we spent a few weeks between Feb and March spending time with each other until eventually I had to come back to my home country.

A few weeks after coming back, out of the blue, he tells me that he’s “unsure”, “something is missing” and he isn’t sure where he stands in the relationship. He says he sees how much I am in love with him and doesn’t understand why he’s not the same and says it’s something wrong with him. He said he wanted some time to figure out whether he wanted to continue this or not.

I was devastated, it wrecked me and I gave him space for 2 days until I realized I deserve somebody who’s sure about me and their feelings for me, so I ended things. He didn’t fight, he didn’t ask me to stay, he was hurt but accepted it and our relationship ended.

I am in so much pain. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I cry all day. My chest hurts and my eyes burn. This has truly wrecked me. I’m just looking for some advice on how to move on from this and to try and understand where this might have come from. We were doing great, we were happy and things were serious. I just don’t know where this could come from.

7

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

essres t1_jeh5f87 wrote

Compared to the majority of posts I read, you seem extremely self aware and have done the mature thing, even though it hurts

All I can say is will get better and you will soon realise you did the right thing as you deserve more

7

ckent_11 t1_jeh4dgn wrote

You're in the "why" stage of this and trying to find a reason so it "makes sense." One of the best ways to look at life in general is that many times we never get to know the "why" something happened. With that in mind, focus on you and your future. Invest in yourself and in healing. Give to those in need and find someone who will encourage you and give you the same energy as a reflection of who you are. Good luck!

6

AutoModerator t1_jeh2mwx wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.


#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1