My (30f) bf (28m) doesnt have social media my friends say its a red flag

Submitted by throwRAanfrwo t3_127jfyr in relationship_advice

We have just started dating and from the start he was clear that he has no social media except Whatsapp. But my friends say that its a red flag because who doesnt have a social media in 2023 and that he is lying to me. I have never seen him behaving suspiciously though and I have no idea why would anyone lie about that. Thoughts?

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YourRAResource t1_jeectzs wrote

The only red flag is anyone thinking it's a red flag. If anything, unless he's legitimately lying to you, which you have no reason to believe, you should consider it a good thing that he doesn't live his life through social media.

You might want to be careful taking advice from friends this insecure. Good luck.

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VoidablePilot t1_jeecyps wrote

It’s not. You’re friends are weird for this one. Social media in general is a terrible thing for mental health so good on him

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ionlyreadtitle t1_jeecs7o wrote

Social media is a cancer. Your friends are showing you that.

I know more people who don't have any than ones who do.

If it truly bothers you. Sure, break up.

How exactly is he lying to you if he doesn't have social media?

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PatientLettuce42 t1_jeedeyk wrote

Your friends sound like the real red flag here. I am 30 and have no social media either. I consciously quit facebook back in the day and have never picked up something new since then, except reddit (whatsapp aint no social media either).

I think its sad how much your friends seem to already be consumed by their social media addiction or whatever that they can't even imagine a life without it or anyone else living without it.

TBH it would only be a PLUS for me if the woman I date has no social media. It would just show me that our opinions on the matter are aligned, because social media is like poison to the brain.

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momisacat t1_jeecuvn wrote

Some people just aren't into social media. Your friends need to get out more.

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Eh111986 t1_jeehdrt wrote

It’s sad to see how social media became big influence on people , they think someone doesn’t have social media means red flag … your friends just being weird , and it’s not red flag.

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aestheticmixtape t1_jeejmkc wrote

My spouse doesn’t use social media either. It’s just a choice some people make. Between Twitter falling apart (& being awful beforehand anyway) reddit being full of fake posts & toxic BS, Facebook really only existing for memes/cat pictures/sharing misinformation, insta being overrun with toxic positivity/influencer wannabes, Snapchat being mostly used to cheat on people… yeah I can see why more people are choosing to opt out lol

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kamjam16 t1_jeegfm6 wrote

I’m 35 and have no social media. I have never understood the appeal and have absolutely no interest in putting my life out there. If my friends/family want to know how I’m doing, they can call me.

There have been a few women in my life who think it’s a red flag, and it just showed we aren’t compatible. If you feel the same, then leave. The fact he doesn’t have social media isn’t inherently a red flag.

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Argentina4Ever t1_jeei64q wrote

As long as you can verify and be sure the person isn't catfishing or lying about who they are in some way it should be fine.

I also don't really use or care about traditional social media... it's not that uncommon tbh.

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Ok-fifi-78 t1_jeefd4z wrote

I think no social media is good!!!!

But check.his name everywhere first.just in case

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gypsiemariposa t1_jeemws8 wrote

I have at least 5 people in my life with zero social media. They don’t see the point at all….

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PotentialAd807 t1_jeeow1b wrote

OP,

There are people out there that just cannot justify putting there life into the world for everyone to see.

Then there are people who hide the things they do because they cheat.

So, if you haven't seen any red flags, he treats you well, your in love with this person, etc. Then stop listening to them, maybe they are unhappy with their relationships so they project it out to the ones they are happy.

Could he be sneaky, Maybe. Could he be 100% honest, maybe.

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lampsofa t1_jeeetou wrote

Nah he’s just a hipster

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throwRAanfrwo OP t1_jeefjwu wrote

Lol he is the farthest from a hipster!

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lampsofa t1_jeefubc wrote

Point is that it’s cool these days to be off social media

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Salzigblumen t1_jeefu5r wrote

I think this CAN be a red flag for someone who is in a relationship and cheating. There are definitely people who just aren't into social media though. I think it's more like a yellow flag, and definitely not worth breaking up over on its own. If you get other weird feelings, just keep it in mind as a possibility, but I wouldn't stress about it on its own.

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HidingBehindTheSmile t1_jeejvs1 wrote

Your friends are awful. Not everyone feels the need to share their every thought, meal and bowel movement with the world.

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hernameisfable t1_jeeqlfr wrote

Not at all I think it’s totally healthy.

Some people are against social media and I wish I was one of them!!!!! I use an instagram dummy account so I can follow current events but don’t have to see what my classmate from six years ago is up to with her ugly baby.

Protect this man at all costs

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Bosch1838 t1_jeerjtt wrote

I have enormous respect for those who have the ability to keep off of social media.

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SlowZebraPerson t1_jeerqyk wrote

My boyfriend doesn't have social media, he is very introverted and doesn't really know how to use the internet despite being 30. His emoji usage when texting feels a little like my mothers.

If someone seemed up to date on internet culture and was very social but said they didn't have social media they would be more suspicious.

Not having social media isn't a red flag, lying about having social media is definitely a red flag.

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FruFanGirl t1_jeetfy8 wrote

40 something bf claimed to have no social media and further in, found tik tok with lots of inappropriate content . It really hurt. I’d only be worried if he’s doing something similar behind your back but not no social media for real

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