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jamicam t1_jeg4htw wrote

You declined the invite because of your gf's reaction, not because you knew it is a bad idea to meet up with an ex while you are in a committed relationship.

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pancake_gofer t1_jeg8e2l wrote

I told her that if she wasn't comfortable with meeting this person I wouldn't meet up with said person. I was 50-50 on it because things were odd and I wasn't sure what to make of things. Sure I'd want closure, but I wasn't going to go get it if the current person I'm with isn't comfortable with my meeting up with that ex.

I feel like I was trying to be honest with my gf but instead I'm suddenly some bad person and my GF is pissed at me.

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jamicam t1_jeg9ptf wrote

You do not meet with up an ex when you are in a new committed relationship.

You based your decision on your gf - if she wasn't comfortable, you wouldn't go. You put it on her.

Instead, it should have been that you told the ex no, and then told the gf that she asked and you declined.

Have clean and clear boundaries and don't allow these kind of messy things to happen. Your ex is your past. Move forward and stop looking back. Be committed and responsible in your new relationship.

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saclayson t1_jegft7r wrote

Why? Where did this rule come from?

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Waste_Vegetable8974 t1_jegvb2p wrote

Not a rule just common sense. Some folks can't deal with their SO exes being in the picture.

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emmiec1717 t1_jegmjf3 wrote

You made her make the decision for you not to go,instead of making it yourself.(meaning that u want to go and she’s the only thing stopping you). Why would you want to meet up anyways.why would the ex? It’s all a bit weird .When in a serious relationship it’s best not to open the “get closure with my friendly Ex”. box.

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saclayson t1_jegfotl wrote

I don’t understand why we have to cut off people we spent pieces of our lives with. I’ll never get this.

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Waste_Vegetable8974 t1_jegup6c wrote

You will if you ever date someone who has this particular problem it's very common and yes it is largely based on insecurity.

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Biauralbeats t1_jegeobu wrote

Well, if you are going to stay with this treat, obviously rationalizing and reason isn't working with her.

Perhaps you ought to say, "You know what, after what you shared, I realized it just isn't worth reconnecting with an old girlfriend and I am not going to".

then end the damn conversation.

If she keeps festering, you have a hella insecure bedbug there

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