My boyfriend (25M) slept with someone else during our talking phase and I (26F) feel betrayed

Submitted by Fluffy-Entertainer t3_127pblv in relationship_advice

Hi I need some advice. My boyfriend of 8 months slept with someone else 3 months into our talking phase and we became serious a month after that. I am only finding out now because I have tested positive for Chlamydia and he swears he hasn’t slept with anyone else while being with me other than that one person while we were in the talking phase. I feel betrayed and blindsided because I was extremely loyal throughout our talking stage. Do you believe this is something to break up over or should I forgive him because we weren’t typically official yet.

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JMarie113 t1_jef54jf wrote

I wouldn't deal with a guy like that. He should have been upfront with that information. If he's sleeping with someone and building a relationship with you, you deserve to know that. I avoid guys with no integrity.

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DplusLplusKplusM t1_jef8ydy wrote

The incubation period for chlamydia is weeks not months. It's highly unlikely you were infected from some tryst he had five months ago.

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Fluffy-Entertainer OP t1_jef9boz wrote

I think I’ve been infected all along but didn’t get checked since august

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Hotepz_ t1_jef4zrm wrote

Like how does this work?

You just talked and were friendly for 3 month, and then you started seriously dating the month after or?

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Fluffy-Entertainer OP t1_jef5ek0 wrote

No, we were well on our way to being in a relationship we both knew what we wanted I just wanted to wait a little longer to be sure I knew that type of person he was. Which clearly he hid too well.

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goodbye-toilet-cat t1_jef8i1v wrote

I wouldn’t necessarily dump him for being non exclusive when we were… non exclusive. I don’t blame you for being put off by it, depending on how seriously couple-y the “talking phase” was going, it might have been reasonable for you to expect that he had tapered off on the other girls he was dating and sleeping with. Just the circumstances of everyone’s talking stages are different so it’s hard to say if sleeping with someone else is a dealbreaker all the time.

However, he was irresponsible and unsafe, and gave you an std! I would dump him for that.

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