Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

normalboyz1 t1_jegbzb7 wrote

i think everyone will have different level of ok with this. luckily you understand how it feels so you don't get upset too much.

i think the ball is in your court. you can ask him to stop cos for most ppl that's cheating. or if both of you are open enough, you can start sexting random ppl too, be open to each other and use the sexual tension from that into your sex life.

just have sit down and talk about it.

2

Critical-Attention51 t1_jegjnyo wrote

Thank you for your reply!

We’ve had many talks about it! Both agreed that if it comes to a point where he feels like he will slip back into old secretive ways, and if he has absolutely any respect or care for me as a human, he would either tell me straight up or if it feels hard doing that then write me a little note (we’ve always left each other notes).

I even offered us sexting people together and he wasn’t against it but said it’s not something he wants to continue doing either alone or with someone.. time will tell, but i’ve made it very clear that me agreeing to work on/move past this is not me saying that what he did was okay, or that i’m the type of person to be scared to leave.

1

normalboyz1 t1_jegm77u wrote

i think he's lucky you're pretty open minded. rather than making this an issue maybe you can actually enhancing your sex life.

maybe brainstorm what you both can do to experience the thrill together. maybe if it's involving stranger then do some light exhibitionism together for a start.

1

Critical-Attention51 t1_jegmwe1 wrote

I think using this to enhance our sex life is a great option, because I feel trying to bury the feeling would only create an issue down the road.. but he is persistent on the fact that it’s not something he wants to continue doing at any point in his life, and that this personality he takes on while having these conversations with other women is so detached from himself.

I even joked that the reason he possibly doesn’t speak to me the way he speaks to these other women is because he actually views me as a human being, which he chuckled and agreed to. It’s a very peculiar situation for sure.

1

AutoModerator t1_jeg97ld wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

drfishdaddy t1_jegauvv wrote

Who makes fake accounts to look at porn? Just own it.

1

Critical-Attention51 t1_jegbvfd wrote

i understand and agree with what you’re saying and i’m really not sure as i’ve always been open about the fact that i’m okay with porn.

1