Hello guys, so a month ago i proposed to my crush who i knew for couple of months then i confessed my feelings to her but she said she only sees me as a friend. After that we didnt talk for 1 month then one day at campus she randomly texted me saying why im ignoring her and never text her at all and suddenly wants to hangout but as friends but before i confessed to her she did not show much interest in me and wont text me first but now she is texting me first and want to hangout as friends.What should i do?

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YourRAResource t1_jedejuc wrote on March 31, 2023 at 5:06 AM

#2,516,934

You should acknowledge the reality that she still only wants a friendship. If you're good with that, then be friends, but you're logically not. That's perfectly fine, but you need to be honest about it.

Zandarino t1_jedfqma wrote on March 31, 2023 at 5:19 AM

#2,517,207

Say of course we can be friends. Then ask her out on a date.

[deleted] t1_jedhr83 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 5:43 AM

#2,517,717

[removed]

Fedoral_Offence t1_jedi0qx wrote on March 31, 2023 at 5:46 AM

#2,517,796

…be friends with her?

If you confessed to her, you obviously like her company right? And given that she wants to talk with you, she likes your company too. Yes, it’s going to be a bit awkward at first, but is your pride really worth losing a friend you care about?

Fedoral_Offence t1_jedi496 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 5:47 AM

#2,517,816

Replying to Zandarino (#2,517,207)

OP don’t do this. Horrible idea.

[deleted] t1_jedi52o wrote on March 31, 2023 at 5:48 AM

#2,517,824

[removed]

BellaSantiago1975 t1_jedqigy wrote on March 31, 2023 at 7:39 AM

#2,519,726

Do you want to be her friend? Then be her friend. But if you're going to have a hard time getting over your crush, or would be trying to be friends in the hope of taking another shot at something more, then stay distanced.

NotTrynaMakeWaves t1_jeduh1b wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:37 AM

#2,520,634

Been there. It sucks. I’ve done it though - been the friend - but it wasn’t the same as before, especially when she started dating an idiot. Just be you, have a coffee and a chat but try to close up that open heart wound. Good luck.

Rinzler_Tron OP t1_jedupua wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:41 AM

#2,520,681

Replying to NotTrynaMakeWaves (#2,520,634)

alright thanks for the advice bro

Squadala1337 t1_jedwi9m wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:07 AM

#2,521,052

Do what you want. You wanna hang, hang. You wanna stay away, stay away. There’s no rationale in relations

[deleted] t1_jedy5da wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:31 AM

#2,521,422

[removed]

sanguinepsychologist t1_jee4wx1 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 10:59 AM

#2,523,028

You recognise that this person won’t be dating you, even if you stay friends for a while, so unless you’re okay with just that and nothing more, don’t engage.

JealousBed1807 t1_jee8uhc wrote on March 31, 2023 at 11:42 AM

#2,524,174

Somewhat ironically, you are doing the best possible thing to make her actually want a relationship with her … ignoring her and living your best life. I would guess that you used to text her and give her attention and now she misses that … she doesn’t want you as a friend, she wants the validation of having you pine after her so she can feel good about herself. My advice would be to let her pursue you now … if she wants to be friends with you she can do the work and prove to you that’s it’s worth your time and energy.

CryptographerTrue653 t1_jee9066 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 11:43 AM

#2,524,222

You need to move on. Pretending to be her friend will only hurt both of you in the long run.

Naive-Selection-7113 t1_jeecx7g wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:20 PM

#2,525,565

You can absolutely be friends but the romantic side is dead, not wounded, it is dead because if you let yourself pretend there is a glimmer of hope you will do yourself a great disservice.

There is nothing wrong with having a person you like be a friend right now but that is all they will be. Good luck finding a good one elsewhere OP

Gas_Grouchy t1_jeef628 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:40 PM

#2,526,307

I would not hang out with the person or just be friends. You're going to lead yourself on and look into things you shouldn't. Find another woman to dedicate your time to. It sucks but always always respect your time first. Promise you you'll be happy about it later on.

LightProof24 t1_jeemnyx wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:39 PM

#2,528,879

There are two types of “friends”

There is “we are friends and there is never a chance of us being a couple”

And there is “we are friends are you’re a cutie”

If you keep wanting to be in the second category of friendship, you need to accept all forms of friendship. However be aware you could also be accepting a soul-crushing invite to category 1 friendship.

Even if it’s category 2, you’re gonna have to act like it’s category 1, and never focus on that second category. Just go with the flow, and focus on being friends first, and nothing else. You cannot be in category 2 if you are not friends.

You may be in category 2 after doing something as ridiculous as proposing after a couple of months and this is your second chance, but you’re not going to get a third, and you’re going to have to play the long game — think years.

Nicklebackfan_ t1_jeeuq9d wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:35 PM

#2,531,675

You tell her you’re not interested in just being friends for your own well-being.

Vegetable-Cod-2340 t1_jef6vpr wrote on March 31, 2023 at 3:55 PM

#2,535,755

Be honest with yourself can you just be her friend , is so text her back and continue your friendship.

But if you’re thinking this is a way in to start dating her, just leave her alone.