explicitlinguini t1_jegdf9u wrote
You essentially were her side-hoe for all of this, do you understand that? For being so in-love, she chose him over you. How much more does that mean she cares for him? She got to have her cake and eat it too, as you were single in the beginning but she got to have you AND her boyfriend. Gross. And she knew what she was doing just as much as you do.
Kay was cheating on her partner to do romantic things with you, regardless of the lack of kissing/sex, and now you are emotionally cheating on your partner. This not a sustainable friendship with feeling like that present, but you seem to understand that.
A smart decision would be to be honest with Tom about your whole history with her. And I get the feeling you weren’t honest with him initially because you know the whole thing was wrong. Secondly, you should rethink your friendship for Kay.
If you married Tom, don’t you think it would topple his world to understand your feelings about him have no stability? Because you will be thinking of Kay in the back of your mind.
[deleted] OP t1_jegjcvw wrote
You’re not wrong. As I read your comment, I think I’m making the realization that I’ve basically been in denial on multiple fronts. The truth, as you correctly point out, is that I’m not her priority, she did hurt me substantially already, and she will be the demise of my current relationship if things continue as-is. Thank you
explicitlinguini t1_jegpqmc wrote
You are welcome OP. I hope you figure it out and I’m sorry to lay it out like that, but it is what it is. Good luck
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