What advice are you after? I’d have been gone a long time ago. You can do better than this shit show.

While arguments between couples is normal and some tension is inevitable what u r describing is an abusive relationship where the guy is basically just a narc who is using your love for him to abuse you. I would suggest taking a break and reevaluating this entire relationship.

I am just wondering what I could have done for this situation to not have happened. Was it wrong I wanted to sit in the living room? Especially when I said I will ensure I'm quiet? I'm just tired of paying rent and not getting space.

Can I just ask if it was wrong that I wanted to work in the living room? I always make sure to turn the light off and be quiet..I also just needed some space alone while working. Is this wrong that I took this stance?

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No u weren't wrong, it's your house u can work wherever u like. Uninvited guests should not be your problem also he physically assaulted u and then verbally abused you. He is the one who's wrong through and through

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Never have everybody’s family live with you. It’s a toxic mess. So that is what you could’ve done differently now get yourself out of there immediately and don’t go back ever no matter what he says.

What advice are you looking for here? I mean, to me the answer is obvious: leave. This guy's manipulative and abusive.

• he decided BIL would live with you without bothering to clear it with you first. Oh, and BIL is a freeloader so you're paying his living expenses too.

• he then claimed you were just as bad because you ... got skin care treatment without telling him? Oh, dude. Yeah, that's not the same as having an entire extra person living in your house.

• MIL also lives with you. I'm gonna guess you weren't consulted about this either and hubby just presented it to you as a done deal.

• you have a demanding job and have to work late frequently, which is hard to do because MIL is sleeping in living room and hubby goes to sleep early in bedroom. So you work in the dark to avoid inconveniencing all these people who are not concerned about inconveniencing you.

• he took your laptop from you when you were in the middle of doing work, and refused to give it back. Then he got physical and hurt you.

Yeah.

No more evidence needed here. Leave.

It is your house. If your only options for workspace are the living room or your bedroom, you have to work in one or the other ... And living room seems entirely reasonable to me.

I wouldn't be so worried about inconveniencing MIL who is sleeping in your living room for 6 months. If she doesn't like it, she can go live somewhere else.

Girl, you just need to get out.

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Thanks for understanding. MIL has been doing really poorly health wise. The only reason why I'm not so concerned about sitting in the living room ( believe me I try to be as non intrusive as possible) is because she gets a minimum of 2 hours of rest in the afternoon. She doesn't have to do much of work as I cook and do the dishes most of the time. She just has to take her medicines and maybe get some warm water from the kitchen. Sometimes she'll sleep 3-4 hours in the afternoon.

You pay the rent. You have every right to work where you want. Heck you can work hanging upside down from your light fitting in the bathroom naked if it so pleases you to do so.

As for the other issues. Your BiL and MiL have to go asap. You haven't got a marriage with them living there, especially the BiL living there rent free. He's using amenities and food that you're paying for, money you should be putting away for your future. If your husband doesn't see this you've got to assume he doesn't see one. Why would anyone want their brother permanently living with them and their wife? It's incomprehensible.

The way your husband acted was out of order and you probably don't need me to tell you you were BOTH out of line for being abusive.

You both need to sit down and agree to get these parasites out of your home. Or you need to leave and find a guy who will treat you with respect and who wants to spend his time with you and you alone. (When in the marital home)

My husband doesn't realize and will not accept his brother in law is causing issues.

I don't condone my behavior in the least. But I will say that I warned him many times to give me back my laptop. I felt very triggered that he took my laptop and was trying to act like I was the one at fault. He got mad that I was trying to take my laptop back. I told him it's completely unacceptable that he's acting this way and he laughed that I was calling him unacceptable after what I'm doing. Basically all this pushed me to what I did. Again, I know I am wrong. But I'm providing context for my actions.

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The living room is not the point at all. The point is that you have absolutely no say as to what goes on in this house: who lives there, what parts of the house are your domain. You have no leverage in this marriage. Why put up with that?

If you left, he would have to support three people. You would only have to support yourself.

You need to leave. This is not a life - they are all using you. You are not a doormat or a maid. Please pack your things and go to your parents, friends , siblings etc. YOU ARE BEING ABUSED AND USED.

So you married a controlling gaslighting manipulative asshole who bullies you and physically assaulted you. I don’t know what advice you want here. My advice would be to divorce his dumb ass ASAP.

No it’s not wrong to want to work ANYWHERE IN YOUR HOUSE where you pay the rent?!

Honestly it sounds like he married to get housing for his family.

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You are setting the bar way low here by repeatedly asking about one something that obviously was fine for you to do. Your entire situation is a mess.

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Time to make other living arrangements. Take a look at you financial options and see if you can afford your own place.

Until then maybe relocate to do you work at a library or cafe. I understand this is alot and seems like a jump but you didnt marry all them and as half of the relationship, you deserve half of the say with other living with you. You SO show you zero respect with this.

Let him play the victim. Start looking at your options unless he start working with you. You will see how he acts if he has to make a choice

Work to live a better life

He abused you. You need to leave and he needs to kick his mother out.

Him taking your work laptop is childish and you two need therapy if you going to save the marriage. Minimum you tell him you going to a hotel and will be speaking to a lawyer. If he wants to keep this marriage you will listen but he needs to make major changes now.

Are you an owner of the house?

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Just file for divorce and go. Once you're off the lease, let the landlord know who's living there.

He's using you. Stop letting him.