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1

yowen2000 t1_jefvvg5 wrote

It's extremely rare for it to be okay to out someone. Even though this guy is being shitty, the potential danger you're causing him is not something he deserves. A lot of what happened probably stems from his fear of coming out, due to what has likely been a very homophobic upbringing. Don't out him.

It's best to just move on.

Your boyfriend cheated on you, right? Just put all of these people behind you by breaking up with him.

13

AMerrickanGirl t1_jefwcmv wrote

Telling his family is mean and vindictive. Do you really want to be that kind of person? What exactly would that accomplish? Don’t lower yourself like that, you’re not in high school any more, so be an adult and handle this like an adult.

Just walk away from both of them. It’s your cheating boyfriend you should be angry with (and break up with) not this other guy.

8

MortishaTheCat t1_jefwdmt wrote

One reason not to tell his family: it is morally wrong and you will be responsible for his suicide. You should be angry with your boyfriend not with him.

9

dazedkatwoman t1_jefwxdo wrote

And just when I thought you'd gone away... At least you made the guy your bf cheather on you wwith closer in age this time instead of a kid.

3

binbaghan t1_jefxa5i wrote

Sorry but why are you not more mad at your bf???? Why are you messing around this person who clearly has a lot of shit to deal with. It’s your bf that cheated, be mad at him first, the other guy next. Outing this person to their family is dangerous tbh, it’s not a mature thing to do and you’re only doing it to “get back” at someone. It won’t help you and it certainly won’t make you a good person.

19

zoetheewok t1_jefxdew wrote

Yes your bf cheating is a horrible thing to do but outing someone is not the way to go. You know it's dangerous for them to be outed and you still want to do it because you're hurt. Just walk away and be done with it instead like an adult and not some bratty kid. No you wouldn't make them do anything to themself and you say you wouldn't care but it will weigh on you and is it really worth it?

1

critterwalk t1_jefxlwa wrote

Outing someone is absolutely not okay. Dump your boyfriend and move on. The other kid has nothing to do with it. You need to redirect your anger.

8

Thatxygirl t1_jeg7njr wrote

You shouldn’t feel sorry for him, but that’s not a reason to seek rash revenge. Cool down first before you make any decisions.

1

Professional_Lime936 t1_jegja56 wrote

Your anger is misdirected. Please, please, don't out the guy. The repercussions sound awful and I know you are hurting but this is not the way.

Your BF is a cheater. He's for the bin.

Just a point on this part...

'He also told my boyfriend he cross dressed with girl’s lingerie and even wore his brothers girlfriends clothes before. He’s so messed up.'

I don't know if I have read this wrong but it sounds trans-phobic.

4

Liu1845 t1_jegm4dl wrote

Your SO cheated on you, but you want to take it out on the person he cheated with? Your boyfriend is the one that didn't honor his commitment to you. Why don't you punish him and leave the other guy alone?

Don't do it.

2

really_thatsit t1_jegv89n wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#2,554,645)

Why? If you're willing to go out of your way to tell his family about it, you should do the same to your boyfriend. Are you gonna tell your boyfriend's family too? Since you're "so fucking angry right now".

3

Biauralbeats t1_jeh1229 wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#2,554,645)

You are directing righteous rage too narrowly. You are willing to try to hurt this person yet showing grace and acceptance to your bf.

This makes you arbitrary and likely just enables you to keep some relationship going that you know should be ended.

1