Should I M19 give a second chance to my girlfriend? (F19)

Submitted by IMASolitaryMan t3_1283lzx in relationship_advice

She betrayed my trust. We got in a serious relationship a month ago, where I fell in love with her. A lot happened to us, we made plans together, had fun together. A lot happened in one month. She was a very private person with her cellphone and never let me got it. I really always doubted something was up that she was not telling me.

Until later she got drunk in a party with her family I paid for. I brought her home, gave her a shower and put her to bed, she was so drunk. I scrubbed her cellphone to tell her parents she was alright, when I stopped to see a few messages. That's when I discovered she was having an affair with a dude who was twenty years older than her.

I have solid reasons to believe that what she felt for me was real, but that doesn't shade away her mistake. She found out yesterday she's pregnant and it has a high probability that this son is mine. She doesn't want to have the baby, she want a abortion which I don't agree with and it's illegal here.

Later she told me she had this affair due to fear this guy would do something bad to her since he was pressing her to have something with him (according to her). Something it did not look like while reading their messages together. I feel pretty bad and I don't know whether I should just drop this idea of rebuilding a relationship or just forgive her and forget her. This baby also has a change of not being mine, so...

Would you give a second chance to a person who betrayed your trust? Have you ever done it? Should it be done under a certain circunstance? Even if this person shows remorse?

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A2Z-THC t1_jeh2hi4 wrote

Fuckkkkk no lmao.

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essres t1_jeh2mcr wrote

I think you should propose. She sounds like a real keeper

You've been together for a month so you aren't in a serious relationship and you definitely don't love her

In that time she has cheated on you and got pregnant, quite possibly with another man's baby

She wants to get an abortion. Let her. Leave her and go and find someone who respects you

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IMASolitaryMan OP t1_jeh3wrs wrote

I know it's pretty late to call it "love". I had feelings. Thanks for your advice, mate. I have to wake up

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jrl_iblogalot t1_jeh2x1c wrote

>Would you give a second chance to a person who betrayed your trust?

No.

>Have you ever done it?

No.

>Should it be done under a certain circumstance? Even if this person shows remorse?

Well you definitely shouldn't do it if they don't show remorse. But if they do it's up to you to decide whether or not to give them a second chance. There's no objectively correct answer.

Personally, in your situation I would not advise you to do so. Take it from someone more than twice your age, you're still very young, not even a fully-legal adult yet, and you just met her a month ago (I know it feels like "a lot", but that's due to your youth and comparative inexperience). You don't need this. Be glad you saw her true side this early, and cut your losses and move on with your life.

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IMASolitaryMan OP t1_jeh3pzn wrote

Thanks a lot. Actually I didn't met her a month ago, we dated serious one month ago. We met each other on a period of two months, still little. She already knew this guy and said that when we started dating she stopped talking to him, still hard to believe though. I think you are right. I'm deceiving myself with this idea of "Just a mistake". I should move on

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jrl_iblogalot t1_jeh443s wrote

>Actually I didn't met her a month ago, we dated serious one month ago. We met each other on a period of two months, still little.

One month, two months, that doesn't change a thing I said.

>She already knew this guy and said that when we started dating she stopped talking to him, still hard to believe though.

This extra info is also irrelevant in regards to my advice.

> I think you are right.

That's all you really needed to say.

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