UsuallyWrite2 t1_jeenw00 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:48 PM

So…what has he said when you’ve discussed this?

You sound a lot like my partner and I’m more like your boyfriend. And we are mid 40’s. Like…he left last night to go to our cabin and called this morning just to say good morning and I love you. That’s how he is. It wouldn’t even occur to me if he hadn’t told me years ago that he wants us to do good morning/Goodnight when we aren’t together. So he communicated that to me and before we lived together, I literally set an alarm on my phone so I’d remember to do that.

Same with the texts. I only check texts a couple times a day. I have notifications turned off because I find it really distracting when I’m trying to work. In this case, my partner has adapted to me and knows that if it’s emergent/urgent, he should call. Else I’ll reply to texts when I’m taking a break.

I think you just need to communicate what you want/need.

[deleted] OP t1_jeesk6o wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:21 PM

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UsuallyWrite2 t1_jeetyd7 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:30 PM

You’ve gotta use your words babe. You have to ask for what you want. Very few people have psychic abilities. But most people will adjust their behavior for someone they love if they know precisely what is expected.

He sounds like a sweetheart and I’m sure if he knows what you want he will try.

[deleted] OP t1_jeeugor wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:33 PM

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UsuallyWrite2 t1_jeevii7 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:40 PM

Yeah. Sounds like he’s burning the candle at both ends and just konks out when he has a moment to rest.

I am not a particularly romantic or emotional person. I’m an engineer. That might be a reason, it’s not an excuse. But seriously, I just don’t think about some of these things. I love my partner very much and he’s a wonderful human. But like when he called this morning? My first thought was “oh no, something is wrong!” Because in my mind, why would he call if there wasn’t a problem or he forgot some gear I need to bring up tomorrow. LOL I’m more of a functional/efficient communicator where I reach out when I need something, not “just because”.

People are people-y. We are all different. In a healthy relationship though, we ask for what we want and we get to give what our partner needs. We are all works in progress!

Good luck!