How do I (20F) fix the relationship with my boyfriend (22M) after I cheated?

Submitted by ThrowRAjosymueller t3_125mm42 in relationship_advice

I cheated on my boyfriend, I sent another guy pictures of me, we talked but after a day or so I told him I can’t do this because I‘m cheating on my boyfriend and I don’t want it. I deleted everything and blocked him on everything, 5 months later my boyfriend found out through messages I forgot to delete, we talked about it and tried to fix it, he says that everything feels different now and he doesn’t know how he‘s supposed to trust me anymore bit he still loves me and I love him more than anything, this is the worst mistake I‘ve ever made in my entire life, I hate myself everyday for what I‘ve done and how much pain I‘ve caused the only person I‘ve ever loved more than myself. I really want to fix our relationship, but I absolutely don’t know what to do, I‘m never gonna do something so heartless again, I just want to tell him how bad I feel and how much I hate me and what I did 24/7, I know it’s not my right to request his trust or anything in that situation, I just want to make him feel loved by me again and give him the comfort he deserves in a relationship

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Amar_Akbar_Anthony20 t1_je4r8xj wrote

Nah you fucking hid it for 5 months. If he wouldn't have found out, you would never tell him. I hope he dumps you.

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Sophietheemu t1_je4sfrw wrote

You should've told him right away so he could process it. I'd be completely okay if he lost trust.

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ionlyreadtitle t1_je4rcki wrote

You don't.

You apologize and just hope he forgets it.

He can never fully trust you again.

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Gosc101 t1_je4upqq wrote

The issue I imagine he has is that he suspects you can be hiding more. You have never confessed your cheating, so it is understandable.

There isn't a clear way forward, you can't prove absence of cheating by definition. He might decide to stay or not. If he does, he might never fully trust you again and want quite a few things from you that will be rather controlling.

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