Submitted by ThrowRA9985 t3_127ute2 in relationship_advice
Hi folks,
I've been in a loving relationship for 17 years. We have kids together and we are very healthy and committed. Since we have had kids, my wife has had a very low sex drive. She has always been on the low side due to medication that affects this. Since kids it has been very low though. I am the one initiating 95% of the time. We only have sex about once a month on average. When we do have sex it's very "going through the motions."
I have a fairly high sex drive and I have had a really hard time with this. I have talked with her about it etc, including trying new things etc and we keep returning to the same kind of thing. She just has very little interest.
I have just begun to look at cam girls and had a literally 2 min vid call with some random cam girl. The thing is it was just a shitty cam site but just having someone pay attention to me sexually was a hugely gratifying experience. Just to illustrate how much this was the case, (TMI warning), even my physical responses were more intense than they have been for years (harder erection, way larger ejaculation etc).
It made me realize how much I'm missing because of having such an inactive sexual relationship with my wife. I will not use any of these cam services going forward as I feel it's like cheating. However, even short periods of better sex with my wife have always returned to the same inactivity.
Anyone have any advice?
EDIT: an important point here is that even if our libidos are not compatible, I love my wife for many other reasons and won't consider leaving her.
EDIT 2: my wife and I have talked about cam girls previously and she doesn't see it as cheating unless it's someone we know or unless it's becoming a regular thing. She has no problem with it on an occasional basis.
EDIT 3: thanks everyone..sorry if I came off as rude to those I took issue with. It's a personal subject so I got a little heated but I appreciate your sharing your opinion even if I disagree.
TransportationNo6850 t1_jefx9ow wrote
I can understand your point of view, but you interacted sexually with another person. I would consider it cheating… idk how you can high your wife’s sex drive, maybe try watch some romantic films or porn together, buying toys, shit like that, but I don’t think that doing the cam was a smart choice.