My (27M) Gf (26F) of 2 years did not invite me along to her bday movie stream night

Submitted by BarnacleTop5037 t3_127xivk in relationship_advice

Hey guys! I’ve been dealing with some insecurities / slight feelings of disrespect over the actions of my SO for her bday this year

Its really nothing all that serious, but I just cant wrap my head around why. Im curious if you guys here think this is totally normal and OK, or how you would feel in my position.

We’ve lived together for just under a year now, and this is our first time living together for her bday. She went and scheduled an online movie stream night with all her close friends, some of them are bringing their partners, and I’m left uninvited despite the fact that I’m going to be there alongside her in the room the whole time. She’s just going to have headphones on and isolate from me.

I feel crushed. She didn’t even think to ask me, and still hasn’t. I haven’t asked myself if I could tag along, and maybe I’m in the wrong for that. I just don’t think its right for me to try and invite myself into someone else’s event.

Besides this, we’ve gotten along great. We have our slight differences but our communication has always been a strong point. I have 0 belief she’s trying to do anything shady or with ill-intent, but I do feel forgotten here especially considering the circumstances.

She has her own friends, thats fine. I have my own friends, and thats also fine. But with me, she’s always been welcomed and invited to every and any event I partake in or host with my circle. She’s never been not-invited, or intentionally left out, especially if my friends are bringing their partners. I love her company, and I happily want for her to be as involved in my life as she wants to. Never pressured her into coming out. But the door is always open for her when Im doing anything.

I work 50-60 hours each week, and she does also. We don’t always get to have the most time together, with weekends really being the limited timeframe that we do get to share.

In the end, its her bday. She has every right to do whatever the heck she wants for it. I support that notion 100%. It deeply saddens me knowing I’ll have 0 part to play in her bday event, and that our Friday evening is now a wash.

What should I do? I think I will bring it up with her, but I don’t plan on spoiling her night tonight so I will wait until our next chance. I thankfully still had a chance to give her her gifts, my card, and out together for a quick date.

What would you guys do? How would you feel in my shoes?

Maybe I’m very much overreacting, but I cant shake my feeling of being forgotten. I want to cry about it but I can’t. Feeling mighty secondary this past week.

I think I’ll head out for the evening & go watch John Wick 4 alone. Nothing better to do in my spare time this weekend..

Call me crazy, overreacting, an a-hole, whatever you’d like! I seriously feel like i am partly crazy for feeling this way.

I don’t have anyone IRL to reach out to here, and could really use some support

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Comments

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OpenerOfTheWays t1_jeh3505 wrote

Does everyone in the group know you exist?

116

HHIOTF t1_jeg9pfn wrote

Is it possible she assumes you know you are invited?

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BarnacleTop5037 OP t1_jegbyn6 wrote

Not possible I’m afraid.

I asked when she first told me “that sounds like fun! What movie? Can I tag along?”

And I was met with “no no this is going to be a little more tight knit, these are my besties”

Only to find out that its not as tight knit as initially told…

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GLRD500 t1_jegysn9 wrote

I would ask if how I'm not one of her "besties"

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HHIOTF t1_jegcf8y wrote

I'd be saying that to her. And if it is tight knit, you should be her #1 invite.

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KeepGoingYoureGood t1_jegvxr0 wrote

I wouldn’t say you are overreacting. I would be really hurt to know that her friends are bringing their partners along too. Totally understand if it was an all-girls event. I get you don’t want to ruin her birthday so I agree and that you should wait till afterwards. It’s something that she needs to know how hurt you are. One birthday something sour happened and my husband felt bad bringing it up and potentially ruining it. We talked about it afterwards and sorted it out like adults and overall I’m glad he brought it up. If your girlfriend really cares about your feelings she will hopefully understand.

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OkCardiologist2403 t1_jeh5kjz wrote

John wick is a mighty fine movie, go out, hook up with ur friends later on , go with them to a bar, club, strip joint whatever stay out really late or to the early next morning, and if she questions u about ur night tell her since u weren’t invite to her suare u went out partying

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drfishdaddy t1_jegamxw wrote

If this is real, there’s no way she doesn’t think you are part of things.

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CephalopodSpy t1_jegb1h2 wrote

You need to talk to her about it. She may just be assuming you know you're invited or that you may not want to go for some reason.

Either way, she has no way of knowing your feelings are hurt if you don't tell him. She can do what she wants on her birthday, but I doubt she would be entirely uncaring about how you feel.

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BarnacleTop5037 OP t1_jegc5mc wrote

Ill have to talk to her. But I think I will wait until afterwards

Unfortunately I know for absolute certainty I’m not invited along. They have a discord event & group made for it and guess who’s not a part of it..

I even briefly asked her when she first told me the plans if I could tag along… and I was met with a “sorry no no, this will be a little bit more tight knit”

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Own-Writing-3687 t1_jegldww wrote

If you're not on a higher level than her friends, then she's not all that committed or emotionally invested in you.

At 26yo she knows how this looks.

I suggest you prepare to be single.

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