Submitted by BarnacleTop5037 t3_127xivk in relationship_advice
Hey guys! I’ve been dealing with some insecurities / slight feelings of disrespect over the actions of my SO for her bday this year
Its really nothing all that serious, but I just cant wrap my head around why. Im curious if you guys here think this is totally normal and OK, or how you would feel in my position.
We’ve lived together for just under a year now, and this is our first time living together for her bday. She went and scheduled an online movie stream night with all her close friends, some of them are bringing their partners, and I’m left uninvited despite the fact that I’m going to be there alongside her in the room the whole time. She’s just going to have headphones on and isolate from me.
I feel crushed. She didn’t even think to ask me, and still hasn’t. I haven’t asked myself if I could tag along, and maybe I’m in the wrong for that. I just don’t think its right for me to try and invite myself into someone else’s event.
Besides this, we’ve gotten along great. We have our slight differences but our communication has always been a strong point. I have 0 belief she’s trying to do anything shady or with ill-intent, but I do feel forgotten here especially considering the circumstances.
She has her own friends, thats fine. I have my own friends, and thats also fine. But with me, she’s always been welcomed and invited to every and any event I partake in or host with my circle. She’s never been not-invited, or intentionally left out, especially if my friends are bringing their partners. I love her company, and I happily want for her to be as involved in my life as she wants to. Never pressured her into coming out. But the door is always open for her when Im doing anything.
I work 50-60 hours each week, and she does also. We don’t always get to have the most time together, with weekends really being the limited timeframe that we do get to share.
In the end, its her bday. She has every right to do whatever the heck she wants for it. I support that notion 100%. It deeply saddens me knowing I’ll have 0 part to play in her bday event, and that our Friday evening is now a wash.
What should I do? I think I will bring it up with her, but I don’t plan on spoiling her night tonight so I will wait until our next chance. I thankfully still had a chance to give her her gifts, my card, and out together for a quick date.
What would you guys do? How would you feel in my shoes?
Maybe I’m very much overreacting, but I cant shake my feeling of being forgotten. I want to cry about it but I can’t. Feeling mighty secondary this past week.
I think I’ll head out for the evening & go watch John Wick 4 alone. Nothing better to do in my spare time this weekend..
Call me crazy, overreacting, an a-hole, whatever you’d like! I seriously feel like i am partly crazy for feeling this way.
I don’t have anyone IRL to reach out to here, and could really use some support
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