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Creative_Recover t1_jefg8qo wrote

You both cheated on your spouses. And the alcohol is not the cause of this; you two have clearly been holding in a lot of feelings towards each other for a long time.

You can't forgot what happened. And these feelings that surfaced are not going to go away if you keep on being friends.

You two need to have a conversation about what happened and your real feelings towards each other. Friends don't have sex with each other by accident. If you 2 have a thing for each other then you need to get realistic and end things with your respective spouses because otherwise (sooner or later) you will cheat on them again.

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[deleted] OP t1_jefjgcq wrote

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Own-Writing-3687 t1_jefoeon wrote

Your decision is : go zero contact (that's the consequence of permenantly contaminating your friendship); or divorce your current partners.

In either event, you destroyed your marriage. You need to confess to your wife. She has the right to decide whether she wants to reconcile or divorce.

And you have to make yourself a safe partner. Your behavior was selfish, entitled, deceitful, and shows zero empathy for your life partner.

There's no quick fix (and don't ever blame it on the alcohol).

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Street_Passage_1151 t1_jegbgbe wrote

Very telling that he is super concerned about his friend throughout this entire post and doesn't mention his wife or feeling guilty at all.

I feel really bad for her and I hope she finds out soon.

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[deleted] OP t1_jefs7kl wrote

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tercer78 t1_jeg2aum wrote

You’ve already purposefully harmed her. Now you’re trying to delay her happiness in life by withholding the truth from her. Helluva healthy attitude for marriage there, bud.

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tercer78 t1_jeg24cj wrote

Of course as a huge DBag, you’re more concerned about talking with her than your wife… soon to be twice divorced Guy.

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Creative_Recover t1_jeflsd5 wrote

Give it a couple of days because she is likely collecting her thoughts & emotions on the matter too, but don't leave it too long because otherwise the conversation will became harder to bring up.

I think it would also be a good idea for you to both meet up in person to talk about this.

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