Submitted by ThrowRAspaghetti666 t3_127hxz0 in relationship_advice
Me and my girlfriend first got together a while ago and were kind of fwb for a month or so and went on a date or two, she asked me if I wanted to move forward into a relationship and I said no, then yes, I really wasn’t sure and I would try to think it through over Xmas, because this would be my first relationship and I take a really long time to process things emotionally.
For context we are at uni so I went home for a month and so did she over Xmas, so we didn’t see one another.
We texted a bit over xmas and she told me about having second thoughts and she was obv upset about what happened before. I said I was willing to try when we got back, but she never said yes or no just that she needed time really.
I came back from Xmas and we had exams, so was focused on them and didn’t want to deal with this until after that, my impression was that we were going to figure it out after that. GF says her impression was that we were done.
In this timeframe she then went out with another guy and slept with him once. She broke it off with him and came back to me and said she still wanted me. She told me about all of this straight up as she wanted to be honest.
At the time it upset me and she understood and apologised, we’ve been together since then for 2 months and it’s going great, she’s beautiful, makes me laugh and supports me but I just cannot stop thinking about this. I thought I’d forget about it once we were together but it keeps on nagging at me.
I feel like if I end it over this, I will be kicking myself for years for throwing away this girl over something that wasn’t even ‘cheating’
I really don’t know what to do. Any advice?
Castle_of_Aaaaaaargh t1_jee76ll wrote
Recognize how fortunate you are that she even stuck around. Getting blown off and rejected, that you’ll “think about it” for over a month before getting back to her… most people would assume you’re not interested at all and move on.
I dont have advice for letting this bother you less, except to accept that YOU made all the flakey choices that lead to her seeing other people.