dianaprince76 t1_jee7lv6 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 11:29 AM

You have treated this girl poorly by jerking her around. It’s not like you were getting married or have a baby or commit to being together for life, we’re talking about being in an exclusive relationship so not sure what your issue is. You are very lucky she’s giving you the time of day and she has NOTHING to be sorry about.

ThrowRAspaghetti666 OP t1_jee8lto wrote on March 31, 2023 at 11:39 AM

You may be right, this is my first experience with this type of thing and I am trying my best. I agree I am very lucky, do you have any advice on how I can forget and move from this? I almost wish she never told me.

Even if she did nothing wrong it still upsets me and how do I move past it ?

Thank you for responding

sliverofoptimism t1_jeeb4of wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:04 PM

You just….do? She didn’t wrong you, this has nothing to do with you. You weren’t dating and she dated someone else. How does that impact you? You have every signal to her to move on and she did. You weren’t LDR or anything, you were just keeping in touch with someone you later decided to date.

Are you sure you’re ready to date? Somehow feeling slighted by actions before your relationship isn’t a great signal if that

ThrowRAspaghetti666 OP t1_jeecawy wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:15 PM

It’s like an earworm, I just can’t get the thought of her with this other guy out of my head. Then I start getting annoyed with myself for letting it happen in the first place. Whenever I’m doing nothing it’s the first things that pops into my head and I don’t know how to stop it.

I can’t control it. Will it just stop with time? It’s always worse when I’m not with her.

Thank you for your response though. It’s kind of what I need to be hear

sliverofoptimism t1_jeetnh0 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:28 PM

Sounds like intrusive thoughts, do those happen with other things or just jealousy?

ThrowRAspaghetti666 OP t1_jef76s2 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 3:57 PM

I’ve not really had them with jealousy before, I guess I’ve had them in terms of worrying about other stuff like health.

ThrowRAspaghetti666 OP t1_jeeczgt wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:21 PM

I think it hurts because at the time this happened I wouldn’t have gone out with another girl because I thought we were figuring things out together.

sliverofoptimism t1_jeettlo wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:29 PM

I feel like if both parties are actively working on something you shouldn’t be going out and dating, but I thought I understood from your post you weren’t even really talking over the break, taking a really long time to respond, right?

ThrowRAspaghetti666 OP t1_jef72gh wrote on March 31, 2023 at 3:56 PM

We were talking every couple of days over the break, when I got back I didn’t communicate because of exams. I thought we had things on hold until they were done, she thought that it was finished. 😕