sliverofoptimism t1_jeeb4of wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:04 PM

Reply to comment by ThrowRAspaghetti666 in My [19M] girlfriend [19F] slept with another guy whilst things were complicated between us. Really need advice. by ThrowRAspaghetti666

You just….do? She didn’t wrong you, this has nothing to do with you. You weren’t dating and she dated someone else. How does that impact you? You have every signal to her to move on and she did. You weren’t LDR or anything, you were just keeping in touch with someone you later decided to date.

Are you sure you’re ready to date? Somehow feeling slighted by actions before your relationship isn’t a great signal if that

ThrowRAspaghetti666 OP t1_jeecawy wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:15 PM

It’s like an earworm, I just can’t get the thought of her with this other guy out of my head. Then I start getting annoyed with myself for letting it happen in the first place. Whenever I’m doing nothing it’s the first things that pops into my head and I don’t know how to stop it.

I can’t control it. Will it just stop with time? It’s always worse when I’m not with her.

Thank you for your response though. It’s kind of what I need to be hear

sliverofoptimism t1_jeetnh0 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:28 PM

Sounds like intrusive thoughts, do those happen with other things or just jealousy?

ThrowRAspaghetti666 OP t1_jef76s2 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 3:57 PM

I’ve not really had them with jealousy before, I guess I’ve had them in terms of worrying about other stuff like health.

ThrowRAspaghetti666 OP t1_jeeczgt wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:21 PM

I think it hurts because at the time this happened I wouldn’t have gone out with another girl because I thought we were figuring things out together.

sliverofoptimism t1_jeettlo wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:29 PM

I feel like if both parties are actively working on something you shouldn’t be going out and dating, but I thought I understood from your post you weren’t even really talking over the break, taking a really long time to respond, right?

ThrowRAspaghetti666 OP t1_jef72gh wrote on March 31, 2023 at 3:56 PM

We were talking every couple of days over the break, when I got back I didn’t communicate because of exams. I thought we had things on hold until they were done, she thought that it was finished. 😕