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Yes, trust your gut; that's a red flag. Why can't he celebrate you just because they are too? Feels like he's doing that on purpose to try to make you jump.

Being jealous of your grandparents is a bit off.

Why can’t both your grandparents and he celebrate the same achievement on different occasions? Alone time and time with different friend and family groups outside of a romantic relationship is definitely healthy. You two should explore why this bothers him and establish some boundaries.

It sounds like he's bothered that he wasn't invited to be part of the celebration, which I can kind of understand, but I'd need more information to know if that's reasonable or not.

Such as, do your grandparents know you're gay, do they know you're in a relationship, have you met your bfs family, has he met the rest of yours, etc.

We’ve both met each others families but neither set of our grandparents know we’re gay. The rest of our family and friends know and very supportive so him joining for dinner would be an understood nonstarter unless we did a weird “this is my friend” thing which neither of us wants.

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