Submitted by GunterFanClub t3_127sngt in relationship_advice
Wondering how folks choose to split finances, especially when each partner is in very different financial positions.
For example - my partner (29M) and I (24F) are planning to move in together soon and he makes a little under 6 figures and has been working full time since graduating from college 5 years ago and has a lot of savings and disposable income. I’m a full time graduate student (I also have a part time job but really don’t make a lot of money) and I’ve been using my savings to cover everything so far (my living expenses, dates, birthday gifts, my half for weekend trips, etc). Feeling kinda overwhelmed right now since I still have a little over a year left in my program before I’ll start working (and even then I’ll make half of what he does).
Idk fully what I’m even asking for in this post but if folks could let me know how you have navigated splitting finances that would be great
mfruitfly t1_jeg7o6c wrote
So I think there are two equally good ways to split finances.
And then either way, you shouldn't be going in to debt for dates, gifts, and vacations. When a weekend trip comes up, it is fine to say "I can't afford that." I pay for most of the vacations with my partner, because he is on a limited income. I want to go on vacation, and I want him there with me, so I have no problem paying. It is totally fine to tell your partner when you can't afford something- a fancy restaurant, a weekend trip- and then they can decide if they want to pay or to pick a more economical activity. If you just say "i can't afford that" then you aren't expecting them to pay, which of course you shouldn't, you are just being honest about your finances.