I 24F want to leave guy 23M I met a week ago

Submitted by kokopotate t3_127zxr0 in relationship_advice

I (24F) went to a different city to visit my sister. There, I met a guy (23) on bumble. This happened around a week ago. Since the day we started talking, this guy wanted to meet up. I am more of the thought that I'd like to know someone a little better, at least for a few days before I even think about meeting. Anyway, upon his insistence, we met up. Then, he came all the way to where I was living (2.5 hours by public transport) to meet up again, although I wasn't very enthusiastic about it. Noticed a few things about the guy that I didn't really like. Went to eat a cafe, ordered boba milk tea, and he said to the waitress "there's no tea in this" in a confrontational tone and made the atmosphere very uncomfortable. Anyway, it's my birthday a couple of days after that, and he's mad and upset that we can't meet and also upset that I don't seem upset by it. I tell him it's my birthday and I'm happy about the occasion. He apologizes. Then we talk about the relationship and ultimately he says that he has problems with distance and would rather that both people stay in the same city. I said well then we should part ways, it doesn't seem like it'll work out for us. He insists that we shouldn't and he's fine with distance. I come back to my city a few days back and I feel relieved to have some distance between us. Conversations are going okay. Today he says "cuddle me" to which I reply "I won't even touch you u.u" as a joke. He replies back in a joking manner too. After 5-6 hours, he says that he doesn't like that the conversation is always either banter or memes and stuff. He wants some real conversation too. Which is not true, we get to know each other too through questions. He says that he doesn't know how to deal with the way I talk and he didn't find the "I won't touch you" thing funny. I say okay, you could've said that earlier instead of playing along and giving mixed signals.

Anyway, I want to leave this dynamic because this guy is just too much all at once and it's not working well. Please give advice as to how I can get away without him insisting that we keep trying and what not. It's just been a week, why is it already so serious?

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xvszero t1_jegkqoh wrote

There really isn't much to get away from, you don't even have a relationship. Just tell him you're not interested and if he bothers you, block and move on with your life.

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zeez1011 t1_jegksi4 wrote

How? Tell him it's over. Block his number. Get on with your life.

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TattooPuddle t1_jegl1to wrote

Just tell him you weren't feeling it and move on. You guys aren't in a relationship.

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miss-mercatale t1_jegla77 wrote

Message him and tell him it’s not working for you, wait until he has read the message and then block him. Everywhere. He’s clearly making you feel uncomfortable.

Early stages of meeting up shouldn’t result in what seems like a fairly aggressive tone. It’s like he’s not respecting you at all.

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kokopotate OP t1_jeglpzs wrote

The thing is, I'd found him a nice guy in the beginning and I'd said so to him, so I'm struggling thinking about saying the opposite now, even though it's true.

He says I am affectionate on my terms only. And what does that mean? Obviously I am affectionate on my terms, isn't everybody? Why would I fake affection when I'm not affectionate???

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miss-mercatale t1_jegm0uh wrote

Honestly he sounds a bit creepy to me. And and I said, he’s not making you comfortable right now. Getting to know someone early on should be fun instead of about worrying about whether you show the right sort of affection.

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kokopotate OP t1_jegmfz8 wrote

Would it bother you if I send you screenshots of the conversation? I just want to make sure that I'm not overreacting. It's fine if that's too much, let me know!

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ratakat t1_jegmvw1 wrote

You're not over reacting. We dont need to see chats to know this. He's weird in a bad way

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ratakat t1_jegmq2u wrote

Jesus Christ im sorry please leave this guy.

Just do it. You're having (justified) doubts this early on. End it now. Dont give him your address.

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kokopotate OP t1_jego33c wrote

I live in a different city so address shouldn't be a problem! And my sister is moving from where she was living when we visited her in a month so that should be fine as well. But I don't think I'll have to worry about that, he doesn't seem to be that kind of a person 😅 He's just a little too clingy for comfort, I believe.

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ratakat t1_jegsnm1 wrote

You don't know him yet. You barely know him at all. I don't want to put unnecessary fears in your head, but its best to assume the worst when you're leaving someone. From what you've said I'm scared of him. He hasn't had a calm or normal reaction to anything so far.

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