Submitted by ThrowRA_Chinatsu t3_127y6mj in relationship_advice
At the beginning, he made it clear that he sees no difference between being female and male in terms of how they're treated and that he expects equal treatment within the relationship. I thought this meant more so financially, so it didn't bother me at first as I didn't mind contributing financially. It does feel a bit awkward when he always asks to split the bills when we're outside as I would much prefer a he pays this time and I pay next time, etc.
What does bother me is that he is unwilling to do anything if I am not doing it / have not done it for him before. If I were to ever ask him for a favor, plenty times he would respond with "but you don't do it" and refuse to do it. These are usually referring to small favors such as picking up food on the way home or asking him to give me updates on his day when we're apart. Even when he does ever agree, he makes sure to drop a "you need to do this too next time."
The worst part is that this "equality" applies to negative aspects too. If I we ever have an argument over something he did, he would admit that he was wrong, but immediately switch to "but you did ___ last time" and try to bring up any similar things I have ever did in the past and call me a hypocrite. Then the argument would start to be about some random "resolved" issue we've had in the past.
Even on low days when I ask him to comfort me emotionally, he'll respond with "but I want emotional comforting too." It just constantly feels like everything in this relationship is transactional and I'm constantly stressed by not receiving the support I need when I need it without having to worry about meeting up to his expectations.
TLDR: Boyfriend refuses to do anything unless I do/have done it too and uses my mistakes in the past to justify any of his current mistakes, all calling it being "fair and equal"
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