Submitted by MoraDK_ t3_127xyco in relationship_advice
In January, before my birthday, I ended my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Everything was going great, but I was having emotional breakdowns every day. I would start the day with fantastic mood, but by mid or end of the day, my mood would change and I would start feeling sad. Sometimes, it would even get to the point where I would cry. I decided that it was all because of my girlfriend and made the decision to end the relationship. The first couple of days were better, but it quickly went down to zero, and after a month, I realized that I was still in love with her. I reached out to her, and we talked. I apologized, and she told me that I hurt her badly, and she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I apologized again and tried to forget about her, but every day, as long as I kept it all inside, I felt worse, and during this time, I found out that she was dating my friend. I thought that I wouldn't be able to make it through that day, but I didn't even have the strength to get up. I lay there all day, feeling pain in my heart, thinking and saying that I'm a fool. I tried many ways to forget about her, but every day, as soon as I felt sad, I thought about her and buried myself even more. I tried to distract myself with sports. As soon as I felt sad, I went out onto the street or did something at home, but it didn't help. I love her very much, and she loved me before (it was she who suggested that we start dating), but according to her, she buried her feelings for me. I would like to bury my feelings for her because feeling sad and having pain in my heart every day is very unpleasant. It's so oppressive that thoughts of suicide appear (why do I need this world? I don't want to live; life is nothing but pain. Everyone will be indifferent to me when I die). I know that I did very wrong, but after we ended everything, she didn't write me any messages. Please help. What should I do? I really want to turn everything back, but she doesn't need it anymore, and the feeling of pain doesn't go away. I can't forget everything either.
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